The following is a fictional conversation between a 38-year-old uncle and his teenaged nephew at a summertime family reunion in Sebago Lake State Park. The setting is a covered picnic table under which the two relatives have taken refuge from an afternoon thunderstorm.

Uncle Jim: So watcha been up to lately, nephew?

Nephew Nick: Not much. Hanging out with my friends. Doin’ nothing.

Jim: Oh yeah, what do you guys like to do?

Nick: Well, we go to the mall, hang out there for a while. We play Guitar Hero on Xbox. I don’t know. We do MySpace. Typical stuff.

Jim: Do you guys play sports?

Nick: No. Are you crazy? It’s too hot out.

Jim: How about pickup baseball or soccer at that field in your neighborhood?

Nick: Naaah. Boring.

Jim: Sounds like you are on the computer a lot?

Nick: Yup, all my friends are into MySpace and IMing.

Jim: IM?

Nick: Get with it, Jimbo. Instant Messaging? Duh.

Jim: Sorry nephew. My bad. Tell me more about it.

Nick: Well, with MySpace, I can check to see how my friends are doing. It’s basically my own page. I can post pictures of myself and let people know what I’m up to. I have like 200 friends. With IM, anytime one of my friends is online, it’ll come up on my screen and we can chat. It’s the thing to do.

Jim: So you do this a lot?

Nick: Well, I gotta keep up with it. I don’t want people thinking I’m dissin’ them by not replying. I’m probably on it like three hours a day. Maybe more.

Jim: Three hours? Don’t you get a headache looking at the computer? I remember Atari would give me headaches if I played too much when I was a kid.

Nick (laughing): You’re so old school, Uncle Jim!

Jim: Just to wax nostalgic some more my fine young nephew, back in my day, teenage girls spent their afternoons and evenings talking with their girlfriends on the phone. My sister used to do it, and it drove my dad crazy especially since there was no call waiting back then.

Nick: Really? Aunt Amy?

Jim: Oh yeah. But it’s what all the girls did. They talked. And talked. And talked some more. Lying on their beds, twirling their hair, talking on their pink phones gossiping with their friends. Maybe not 200 friends, like you have though.

Nick: Hmmm.

(At that point in the conversation, the rain stopped and both uncle and nephew gathered round with the rest of the family and enjoyed a late afternoon meal of grilled cheeseburgers and hot dogs. After dinner, the two were enlisted to tag-team the dirty dishes.)

Nick: You know, Uncle Jim, during dinner I was thinking about what you were saying earlier. You know, like how teenage girls back in your day were the ones chit-chatting with their friends after school, for hours at a time. It seems boys nowadays are doing that, too.

Jim: Yeah, I wasn’t going to say anything, but I was thinking the same thing. When I was a teenager, my buddies and I would talk on the phone only long enough to see if we could come over and hang out or where to meet up to play sports. We had fun outside doing stuff. Girls were inside talking with their friends. Nowadays, it seems all the kids are inside.

Nick: Yeah, I get ya. Come to think of it, the only reason I chat online is because everyone else does it. I feel obligated. And if I don’t do it, people might think I’m not cool.

Jim: Well, why don’t you tell your guy friends that they are acting like girls? Ha! Maybe that’ll get them offline? Girls like to talk. There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s part of what makes girls different from guys.

Nick: Yeah, you’re right. It seems unnatural for boys like me to sit around and chat all night long. I don’t twirl my hair, and my computer isn’t pink, but the rest of it sounds familiar. It’s mostly gossip anyway. It’s not like we’re talking about McCain vs. Obama. You know, for a self-obsessed, commitment-fearing Gen Xer, you actually made a wise point here, uncle. Thanks.

Jim: No problem. Glad I could put my wealth of life experience to good use for my fine young nephew. Now, how about a game of Frisbee golf? There are a ton of pine trees around here that we can aim for.

John Balentine, former editor of the Lakes Region Weekly and Suburban News, lives in Windham and is proud to have two nephews, both of whom play outdoors way too much to be interested in MySpace.