“A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.” -G. Gordon Liddy

Lane/Tommy: Wouldn’t it be nice if you could spend money other than your own? There’s a sure way to accomplish that and it is to run for a political office where it gets even better if you win. Come to think of it, have you ever heard of a tax that a politician would refuse? We are already being bombarded by the various news outlets about the candidates running for next year’s presidential election along with Tom Allen running against Susan Collins. It will surely increase as Maine holds the primaries in June and the regular elections in November, 2008.

Lane: I should have been shocked when I heard that the presidential campaign next year will put around $3 billion into advertising. Although most of this money comes from private and business donors, it totals almost half of Maine’s entire state budget.

Wouldn’t it have been nice if Maine had received a donation like that instead of raiding the Maine State Retirement Fund for $3 billion? Instead we and our children will pay around $7.5 billion in interest to pay off that theft because the governor extended the debt another 10 years.

I think that I have finally figured out why Mainers call its giving of tax dollars to politicians the Maine Clean Election Law. As the state of Maine uses tax dollars for the Clean Election Fund, I presume it comes from the fact that the state of Maine is cleaning out our bank accounts.

Tommy: One doesn’t need considerable funding to run for a local office like a town councilor or selectman. We know that candidates begin to spend more money when running for the Maine House or Senate and even more money when running for a Congressional office where they become a beast consuming the almighty dollar faster than a pig at a trough during feeding time.

Once elected, they evolve into porkers at the public trough consuming our tax dollars. We wonder, should any person spend unlimited amounts of money whether it’s their own or special interests when running for office? In 2001 Michael Bloomberg spent $73 million of his own money running for mayor of New York City, which is preposterous.

Lane/Tommy: Without a doubt everyone has noticed the increases in the cost of living to include food, gasoline, heating oil and just about everything else we purchase. Doesn’t it sound ridiculous that so many people are fighting to exist from paycheck to paycheck while egotistical office seekers spend astronomical amounts of money? While we are doing our best to feed our families, heat our homes and maintain our vehicles, presidential candidates travel not only around the United States but trek across the entire planet grasping for that last, huge donation to satisfy their hunger for their own personal glory.

Lane Hiltunen and Tommy Gleason of Windham have successfully cloned the average American taxpayer. The latest clones are so realistic that they plan to place them in various communities around Maine in order to confuse the powers that be so that they tax the clones instead of real people. Using nano-technology they have replicated the average home and once production begins, they will plant them in the same communities as the clones, thus reducing the overall tax burden of real Mainers.