A Glenburn man is facing multiple charges after an alleged attack on his girlfriend. A Medway man is accused of assaulting his pregnant girlfriend. Two sisters from Dexter were shot on Thanksgiving morning in an apparent domestic violence incident while in Oregon; one died. A Biddeford mother argued with her son about money moments before he ran over her and killed her with a pickup truck, which he claims was accidental.

But the story making the news is a woman, punched out on Valentine’s Day, on video, by her football player husband, who is blaming the media, the NFL and the public for the man’s actions. Ray Rice is one of more than 20 NFL players since 2007 who have been accused of domestic violence.

Whether Janay Rice is suffering from Stockholm Syndrome or the aftereffect of a knock-out punch, or simply the dawning realization that she might not get the $35 million contract she thought she was marrying, her response to the publication of the video and to the media frenzy that would have surrounded any public figure involved in something as sordid as this, has been problematic.

Janay Rice and her daughter may have been injured financially by the release of the video and the Ravens’ release of her husband, and the subsequent NFL “indefinite suspension”, which was rescinded this week. She may honestly believe that Rice will never mistreat her again, or abuse their child, although statistically, many abusers do repeat their actions.

But as odious as the NFL’s behavior was in this case, it wasn’t the NFL that slugged her in a public place. If the Rice case serves as notice to other NFL players who might have been tempted to end domestic disputes with their fists, it was a good conclusion. Rice is unlikely to play football again. For those in such a rarefied circle, that may be the only thing that matters.

But in every statement to the press or on social media, Janay Rice has ignored the real scourge of domestic violence that afflicts many, many women … and some men … across the country. Over 5,000 cases of domestic violence occur in Maine yearly. Most never make the news and nearly half of all murders in Maine are domestic, including the horrifying murdersuicide of an entire family of five in Saco last summer.

Janay Rice recently complained about the media, saying “No one knows the pain that the media and unwanted [opinions] from the public has caused my family … to take something away from the man that I love that he has worked … for all his life just to gain ratings is horrific.”

We understand she is unhappy with the amount of notoriety the case has generated, and the loss of her husband’s livelihood, but she is not a private person; nor is her husband. The loss of privacy that came with $35 million contracts and the cheers of the crowds didn’t bother her. Janay Rice is a domestic violence victim and survivor. The best thing she can do now for herself and her daughter, especially, is to speak out on behalf of other survivors and victims’ families.

Failing that, she should remain silent.

Too many victims are suffering in silence, not because they fear the loss of income or status, but because they fear their intimate partner, and fear that the system that is supposed to protect them will fail. Seventeen women in Maine last year died at the hands of an intimate partner; another eight people died at the hands of a parent, child, or sibling.

Some will make the case that no one deserves a football contract or the easy life that comes with someone else’s football contract. But we can all agree that everyone deserves safety, stability, and a life without fear. Janay Rice’s anger and frustration is misplaced. She needs to take a long look at who is responsible for her present unhappiness — and it’s not the media, the public, the NFL, or the Baltimore Ravens.