1932 – 2016

Rachel B. “ Daphne” Holden died on December 15, 2016. She was 84. Her passing was peaceful, and her beloved daughters and her minister were at her side.

Daphne was born on March 2, 1932, in Washington, D.C., the daughter of Miriam E.Oatman and Frederick F. Blachly. She was the youngest of three, with two older brothers, Frederick and ( Charles) Howard. As a student at Woodrow Wilson High School, she renamed herself “ Daphne Blake,” in anticipation of becoming the world’s greatest actress. While reality interfered with her thespian goals, and “Blake” was soon forgotten, the name “Daphne” stuck, and that is how she was known to her many, many friends and admirers.

After graduating from Woodrow Wilson, Daphne attended the University of New Mexico and the American University. She was a life member of Alpha Chi Omega, a sorority she chose based on its then-unusual inclusion of women of diverse backgrounds. She worked for State Farm Insurance and for the National Community Television Association before marrying the love of her life, James R. Holden, on November 29, 1958. They moved to Adelphi, Maryland, where together they raised two daughters, Carol and Barbara. Daphne and Jim created a home filled with love, hilarity, wit, banter, music, friends, books, and – always! – good food. The daughter of a suffragist and civil rights activist, Daphne abhorred prejudice and injustice; and no one lived “Love is Love is Love” better than she.

When her daughters were young, Daphne donated her time and talents to the Montgomery County Association for Children and the League of Women Voters. She then volunteered extensively for the Unitarian Universalist Church of Silver Spring (MD), where she served as Director of Religious Education, among other positions. When her daughters were older, she returned to paid work as a management analyst at the Department of Justice, where she remained for fifteen years until her retirement in 1989.

In 1989, Daphne and Jim moved to Fiddler’s Reach in Phippsburg, to a home Jim designed. Daphne had always loved Maine, where she had spent her childhood summers at Brightwater, in a log cabin built by her father, to which she then returned each year with her husband and children. She was thrilled to make Maine her year-round home. Daphne and Jim joined the Unitarian Universalist Church of Brunswick, where Daphne founded and for many years directed the choir. As she was quick to note, what she lacked in knowledge of music theory and conducting, she more than made up for with enthusiasm and soul; and, under her leadership, the choir performed with jubilation and verve. As had UUCSS, UUCB became a source of intellectual stimulation, friendship, joy, and solace. Daphne also worked as a substitute teacher at Morse High School; with typical humor and hyperbole, she proclaimed to her students that she was “the oldest, meanest substitute in the State of Maine.”

Jim died in 2003. Despite her own health problems, Daphne was determined to stay in the home Jim had built, and, with the help of her “village,” she did so until July 2016, when she moved to Cadigan Lodge at the Highlands in Topsham.

Daphne was a voracious reader with a wicked wit. She was a brilliant writer, and she composed absurd poetry for occasions great and small. She was quick to share her opinions; she was equally quick to share her non- judgmental and boundless love. Daphne lived her life in superlatives: many meals were the best she had ever had, her friends’ and family members’ talents were unsurpassed, each book she read or sermon she heard or concert she attended was amazing. She was unfailingly optimistic, and no one was more grateful for everyday blessings. Until the very end, Daphne wanted to hear what was going on in the lives of others and to share in their joys and help ease their burdens.

Mourning her death and celebrating her remarkable life are her daughters, Carol (Randall Rivet, Ann Arbor, MI) and Barbara (Bethesda, MD); her grandsons, Eric Zimmer, Peter Zimmer, Carl Newman, and Arthur Newman; her extended Blachly family, especially her nephews Peter, Alex, and Jon; and her numerous, incredible friends.

Daphne’s daughters are tremendously grateful for the loving care their mother received from her medical professionals, especially Dr. Carl DeMars and Ms. Patsy Cyr, and from the wonderful staff of Cadigan and CHANS Home Health & Hospice.

Donations in Daphne’s honor may be made to the Unitarian Universalist Church of Brunswick, P.O. Box 129, Brunswick, ME, 04011 or to CHANS Home Health & Hospice, 60 Baribeau Drive, Brunswick, ME, 04011.