DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother is a newly published author. I am so proud of him and his success; he’s wanted this since he was a teenager. In an effort to support my brother and get the word out about his book, I purchased 20 or so copies, which I give out to friends, family and the occasional stranger. I have dropped it off at independent bookstores and given out the book as a gift.

My brother emailed me yesterday, and instead of being grateful, he told me I was embarrassing him! I’ve launched my own small business, and I know it takes grit and networking to be successful. I don’t want to steamroll him on his first published book, but he needs to get proactive about being successful! – Big Dreams, Richmond, Virginia

DEAR BIG DREAMS: As an author myself, I thank you for your proactive efforts! You are right that it takes a lot to promote a book. Indeed, it requires a completely different mindset to sell something that you wrote.

That said, you cannot force your brother to do anything. You can apologize to him for whatever embarrassment you may have inadvertently caused as you explain to him that in order to be successful, he has to get proactive. Agree to back off as you also encourage him to pick up the baton.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a secret social media account that people I know personally don’t know about. It’s an online persona and a great escape for me. Sometimes I just don’t want to talk to people, or I want to post my feelings without friends reaching out to me about it.

Recently, an acquaintance from high school followed my account. I don’t post my name or pictures of myself, but I am paranoid that they somehow found out I am behind this account. Is there any way for me to get to the bottom of this without outing myself? I would be mortified if someone knew my private thoughts. – Anonymous Blogger, Dallas

DEAR ANONYMOUS BLOGGER: I hate to tell you this, but there really is no such thing as being anonymous on social media. You may feel like you are invisible for a short time, but it is too easy for someone to research and figure out who you are. If you do not want anyone to know your true feelings about a particular topic, you should keep those feelings to yourself.

I know too many stories of people being exposed at the most inopportune times because they mistakenly believed they could never been discovered. Consider this high school friend’s interest in your secret account as a gift. Whether the person knows it is you or not, this is proof that you can be found out by your acquaintances. Your secrets are only safe if you keep them to yourself – completely.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.