DEAR HARRIETTE: I lost my place of residence two months ago, but I was able to stay with my family and friends until I came up with a way to sustain myself during this turbulent time of my life. I went to the local government offices and told them my situation, and they were able to provide me with a place to sleep in a men’s shelter. This is a rough experience for me because I did not expect to be homeless. I would like to know how I can stay encouraged while this is going on. – Keeping My Head Up High, New York City
DEAR KEEPING MY HEAD UP HIGH: I’m so sorry for your current state. Dealing with the stress of losing your home has got to be extremely difficult. The good news is that it seems you have been taking actions to stabilize your life. Better still, as in most cities, New York City government has many programs in place to help people get back on their feet. Ask people in charge at the shelter for what opportunities they know about that you can access. Talk to the people in administration to learn about subsidized housing availability and jobs. Get help updating your resume or creating one if you didn’t have one before. Let the experts help you, as this is their job. By staying on top of things, you keep busy, which should help with your morale.
Look around you as well. You will notice that people from all walks of life sometimes find themselves in your position. By noticing the connection of humanity across color, age and class lines, you may be able to feel a little better. Stay focused on achievable goals, meaning break up your big goals into little ones. Every day, check something off of your list that you have accomplished.
• • •
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a single woman, and I recently went back to college at 55 to receive my bachelor’s degree. I kept this journey secret because I was embarrassed, since I should have finished my schooling 30 years ago. I received my diploma to no fanfare because I did not invite my family members to my graduation ceremony. I would have liked to invite my loved ones to attend, but my shame would not allow me to ask. I do not want to live in the shadow of shame and embarrassment anymore. How do I celebrate my life? – No More Shame, Newark, New Jersey
DEAR NO MORE SHAME: Congratulations on your most recent achievement! That you went back to school in your 50s is commendable. Whenever you decide to tell your family, they will likely be very happy for you. More importantly, it is time for you to choose to be happy for yourself. It doesn’t matter when your focus on personal achievement kicked in. What is important is that you are dedicated to fulfilling your dreams now. The way you celebrate is by continuing to put one foot in front of the other and doing what you heart desires – and by letting your loved ones know so that they can celebrate your victories, large and small, with you.
— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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