DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel the need to get buzzed before any sort of social interaction. I do not consider myself an alcoholic, but I know I interact with less trepidation after a few drinks. After suggesting we drink a bit before a small gathering, my best friend looked at me like I was crazy! I explained how I feel, and I know most people feel better after a little bit of alcohol is in them. I didn’t mean to imply that the company we were going to be with drives to me drink, I simply wanted to be the most outgoing me I can be.

Is it wrong to drink some alcohol before going to social events? It just helps me feel more relaxed. If I try to hide this behavior, I’ll feel like I am doing something wrong. – Drinking Before and During, Syracuse, New York

DEAR DRINKING BEFORE AND DURING: While a false sense of security does come with the buzz you get from a couple of drinks, know that it is just that: false. It is way smarter to go anywhere with a clear head. In this way, you are keenly aware of who is around you and how you communicate. Since you feel shy or awkward in social settings, consider buddying up with someone who is more outgoing. Ask your friend to be the icebreaker. As far as small talk goes, start conversations by paying someone a compliment. By getting people to talk about themselves, you can ease into conversation.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I are trying to rein in our spending and create a tight budget in order to begin saving up for our emergency and vacation funds. We realized that our frivolous spending isn’t helping us get set up for the future. As we create this budget, I realize that my favorite things are getting cut while my husband’s stay. My manicures, exercise classes and shopping are getting cut while my husband’s monthly book subscription and $10 music subscription get to stay. Granted, his hobbies are less expensive than mine, but I feel like if my activities are getting cut, his should be, too. My husband argues that this is just about money, and that I can have any hobby I want as long as it falls within our new budget.

I’m pretty pouty and upset that my fun activities have to go while his stay. Am I overstepping my boundaries? I just don’t understand how my world has to turn upside down for the budget while his stays the same. – No More Leisure, Philadelphia

DEAR NO MORE LEISURE: You shouldn’t have agreed to give up everything. It’s time to renegotiate. Figure out what you want to add back in. Research to see if you can find an exercise class for a lower price or a cheaper nail salon. Choose one thing to reactivate. Discuss it with your husband. Let him know that you are not comfortable with giving up all of your guilty pleasures if he is giving up none. Rather than fuming about it, you intend to add something back. You both have to be comfortable, or resentment will grow, making your bigger goal less appealing.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.