DEAR HARRIETTE: I had been feeling kind of stuck in my career trajectory for a while now, and until recently, I couldn’t figure out why for the life of me. It became clear when I had lunch with a friend of mine, who works in the same profession as me. She is successful and moving quickly along her path. When I asked her how, she said she could not have done any of it without her mentor. She went on to talk to me about why having one is crucial, and about all of the benefits having a mentor has given to her.

When my friend found out I did not have a mentor, she told me I needed to get one immediately – in her words, “like yesterday.” I think this would be a great idea, but I have no idea where to start.

Do you think mentors are a good idea? If so, what do you think I should look for in one? – Ready to Move Forward, Wilmington, Delaware

DEAR READY TO MOVE FORWARD: I think mentors can be key in helping propel people’s careers forward. Look for someone who is knowledgeable about your field of interest and who has a good reputation. Identify someone who is accessible to you, whether by a written letter asking for an informational interview or by referral. When you meet, explain your career dreams and ask if the person can provide you with guidance on how to get to your goal.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been friends with a girl I met since the first day of school months back. In the couple of months we’ve known each other, we’ve become fast friends. It’s nice to have someone who genuinely cares. We hang out, go to the mall, out to dinner, the movies, etc. My friend is bisexual, and I had no problems with that. Lately, though, I feel like she’s forming a crush on me. She knows I have a boyfriend, but she says little things that allude to her liking me as more than just friends. At first I took it as her just being nice. Then she began to say things like, “You make me so happy” and “Whenever I see you, I smile because you’re so pretty.”

If she does like me, it’s like she won’t say it directly. She’ll just hint at it. Maybe she’s waiting for me to address it? If she does like me, how do I let her down easy? What’s our friendship supposed to be like if this is the case? I really do like her as a friend and enjoy her company. – Rejection’s Not Easy, Boston

DEAR REJECTION’S NOT EASY: Don’t make assumptions. Get the facts. If you do not want a romantic relationship with this woman and you believe she does, bring it up. Tell her how much you value your friendship. Tell her you are concerned that she may be growing interested in you and that you are worried about that. Point out that you are not bisexual, you have a boyfriend and you don’t want to lose her friendship. Ask her what she thinks about everything. Come to a conclusion together about how to preserve your friendship.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.