DEAR HARRIETTE: My building has a laundry room in the basement for all of the residents to use. The machines are free, so many people want to use the six we have. I was having a debate with my neighbor the other day. I believe that if someone has not come to take out their clothing when it is done in the washers or dryers, I have the right to take it out and use them. My neighbor believes it’s common courtesy to wait for the person to take his own belongings out. People have left their clothes in the machines for hours! I think setting a timer and being ready to take out your clothes is the best thing you can do to keep the laundry system moving. My neighbor thinks it’s rude of me to take out someone’s clothing if they’re not there to pick it up. Who is right? – Clean Laundry, Queens, New York DEAR CLEAN LAUNDRY: It is rude and selfish for neighbors to leave their laundry in the machines for hours, and of course you should not have wait for them to remove their belongings before you use the common

machines. That said, it is best for you to contact your building management and ask them to make a policy that they post rather than taking on your neighbors firsthand. Often the rule is a grace period of one hour or less. After that, your belongings go in a communal bin on the table or somewhere else. If this happens enough, people will get the message. • • • DEAR HARRIETTE: Upon driving past my neighbor’s house, I noticed they had put up their holiday decorations. I admire their commitment to decorating their house so festively. The problem is that the decorations are quite … phallic. These neighbors are elderly and have set up north poles on their front yard and have unfortunately placed two oversized ornaments in front of the candy-striped poles. The decorations are incredibly beautiful, just positioned in an unfortunate way. I would offer to rearrange them, but I do not even know how to broach this topic without seeming like a pervert. Twinkling holiday lights

can be added and the ornaments can be moved around. I told myself I’d wait until the first snow to offer to shovel their lawn and slyly rearrange their decorations. I do not want them to be the pity – or laughingstocks – of the town. Should I just tell them how it looks and offer to rearrange it? – Change It Up, Reisterstown, Maryland DEAR CHANGE IT UP: If the decorations are truly, obviously, phallic looking, the kindest thing you can do is to tell your neighbors. Surely they do not realize it. Maybe you can take a picture of their arrangement and then go by and visit and show them. Gently suggest that you would be happy to adjust the designs a bit to make them more PC. If they brush it off, so be it. But at least you will have made an honest effort.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.