DEAR HARRIETTE: I was at a modern dance performance this weekend, and I loved the show. I even stayed for the Q&A with the choreographer and dancers afterward. Sadly, I cannot say I loved the entire experience: An old woman behind me was complaining loudly to her friends most of the time! She kept complaining about how she was expecting ballet, even though this group is known for being a medley of modern dance, jazz and ballet. Her yakking got much louder during the intermission, where I was hoping she’d leave this show she couldn’t seem to bear. But no, she stayed. At one point in the second half of the show, her phone went off. Her cellphone rang at full volume, and she let it ring without silencing it. I almost turned around and went off on her, but I decided that blunder could be from old age and not mastering one’s cellphone. However, I think she probably knew how to silence it, because when I turned around, she was smiling smugly at her friends. I know she’s my elder, but this behavior was so rude to me and everyone trying to watch the show. Should I have reprimanded her? – Etiquette School, Newark, New Jersey

DEAR ETIQUETTE SCHOOL: Though this woman was definitely in the wrong for loudly and negatively talking about the performance in the midst of it as well as allowing her phone to ring, you did the right thing by keeping your lips zipped. When people behave in such an inflammatory way, they are often prime for a more explosive argument if anyone dares to challenge them. Her complaints could have escalated if you had been drawn into the discussion.

So while she was wrong, you were right in ignoring her to the best of your ability. The staff who work at the theater are responsible for keeping order. What you could have done is to go to one of them at intermission and let them know that the woman was being disruptive.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I was walking through New York City and encountered some girls doing henna in a park for $3. I’ve always loved henna, and I had them do a design on my fingers. Later in the day, I was told I was appropriating Indian culture and that my henna is disrespectful. A complete stranger told me this in a coffee shop! I said I was just trying to support the girls and get a fun design on my hand. I had always thought that bindis were the offensive appropriation and would never consider wearing one. However, I am wondering if my new henna designs are causing me to be judged. I believe I am appreciating the culture, and I would never claim the rights to henna. The designs will be on my hand for a few weeks, and I need to figure out if I’ve made an offensive faux pas. – Henna Hand, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR HENNA HAND: While the application of henna is part of Asian culture, it has become very popular globally. That you supported the girls in the park who were offering to do henna was a thoughtful action. If you are asked about it while the henna remains on your hands, feel free to share what happened. Your intentions were good. It is a good idea to learn about the practices of other cultures before you adorn yourself with their traditions.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.