DEAR ABBY: I live in a generally quiet neighborhood, but my next-door neighbors yell at each other and their children a lot. The shouting sounds like it is escalating.

This morning, the father yelled at his young son, telling him to name the letters of the alphabet he was pointing to. His “lesson” was filled with anger and profanity when the boy made mistakes. It was finally interrupted by the mother, shouting for him to stop. He then screamed, “Shut your mouth!” and she responded, “Don’t you TOUCH me!”

I don’t know what to do. At what point should I call the police, or is this none of my business?

WORRIED NEIGHBOR IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR WORRIED NEIGHBOR: The turmoil in that household isn’t healthy for the children. The next time the father starts shouting, call the police to report a “domestic disturbance.” The verbal abuse could very well escalate to physical violence (if it hasn’t already).

DEAR ABBY: My parents are in their 80s. I have two brothers. “Pete,” the oldest, is in his 50s and lives with them. “Dave” lives next door. My parents support them both financially. Neither one works or even tries to find a job. Both of them are addicted to meth, and one is hooked on prescription pills as well. My parents know it but enable them by paying their bills.

Pete and Dave steal and blame each other or any innocent family member who comes to visit. My parents are in total denial. There is major drug use going on every day, as well as potential violence. Pete and Dave threaten to shoot people all the time.

Part of me understands it’s none of my business, and I have no desire to be around such dysfunction. The other part of me is furious and wants to put a stop to them using my parents. If I offer suggestions to my parents — such as cutting off Pete and Dave — they get mad at ME!

I’m ready to sever all ties because there’s no stopping this train wreck. I think my parents actually enjoy paying for my two 50-something brothers so they can stay high, never grow up and always be dependent. Any advice?

NO NAME IN THE SOUTHWEST

DEAR NO NAME: I agree there is nothing you can do to “save” your parents — or your brothers, for that matter. Their patterns are too well established. You can, however, save yourself.

If seeing them is too painful, you have my permission to distance yourself from what appears to be their unhealthy symbiotic situation.

DEAR ABBY: My 24-yearold daughter and 21-year-old son work as banquet servers at a local country club. Many of the receptions at which they serve include guests consuming large amounts of alcohol.

If an intoxicated male guest made suggestive comments to my daughter or touched her, he would be asked to leave the facility. But what is my son supposed to do when an intoxicated woman, usually much older than he, pinches his backside and makes inappropriate comments or “invitations”?

My son isn’t a prude. His sense of humor allows him to “laugh it off,” but it happens often and he is becoming annoyed. In fact, he’ll say, “Mom, it’s pretty gross!” Abby, what are these woman thinking? What should he do to promote self-respect but not cause an uncomfortable atmosphere for himself and the guests?

CURIOUS MOM IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR MOM: The employee protection rules are no different for males than they are for females. What your son should do first is document the incidents with dates, times and the women involved. He should then report their behavior to the banquet supervisor at the country club. I’m sure the person in charge will want to know, because if the sexual harassment isn’t stopped, it could result in a very embarrassing — and possibly costly — lawsuit against the club.

DEAR ABBY: I recently began dating a widowed coworker. We are both private people and we have kept our personal lives out of the workplace. Only our close friends at work know we are dating.

The issue we now face is the office gossip queen has spotted us out and about, and is asking all our friends about whether or not we’re dating. We barely know this woman and don’t care much for her. How do I politely respond when people start asking me about my boyfriend?

I’m concerned that if I tell them we’re seeing each other, I’ll be treated differently because he had been widowed only a short time. I have spent my entire life avoiding the drama machine, and now I’m afraid I’ll be thrown onto center stage. Please help me.

DRAMA-FREE MOUSE

DEAR MOUSE: Face it, your secret is out. If you prefer not to discuss your private life, all you have to do is say so to those who question you out of curiosity.

But why are you afraid that you’ll be treated differently? Whether your co-worker’s wife died two weeks or two months ago, he is available. Widowers have told me that women have approached them within DAYS of their wives’ funerals. You’re acting like you feel guilty for being happy. For both of your sakes, please stop feeling like you’re doing something wrong.

DEAR ABBY: Some members of my family continually ask me for money. I feel obligated because they are family and they helped me in the past. But since then, I have turned my life around.

I have a great job, a home and I’m in a serious relationship. This isn’t the first time they have asked. I have tried refusing, but they persist and after a while I feel guilty.

This is creating a rift between my girlfriend and me. She feels these family members need to take responsibility for their own problems and make choices to better themselves rather than rely on others to enable their bad habits. How do I put an end to this annoyance?

CASHED OUT

DEAR CASHED OUT: There is a difference between giving people money to enable them to continue making poor choices, and giving them money if they are really in need. Because your relatives helped you when you needed money to tide you over, there is a moral obligation for you to reciprocate if they are truly in need.

DEAR ABBY: When I met my husband he was married. I told him at first that I was not interested. But as time went on he ended up divorcing his wife. We have been together for 11 years, married for three.

The problem is his kids. They are all adults. His youngest was 15 when he left. The daughter is angry and blames me for his leaving. This was not the first time he had left her mother. He had a child from another relationship who was conceived during one of his absences.

I am getting tired of the drama and I’m about ready to divorce him for my peace of mind. During the time we have been together he has never strayed and has always been there for me. Should we divorce?

SECOND WIFE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SECOND WIFE: Heck, no! If you love your husband, stick with him. Because your husband’s daughter is creating drama, he should set her straight. She may feel that he didn’t love HER enough to stay, when the truth is that his marriage to her mother had been on the rocks for years. He should also make sure she understands that if she wants him in her life, she will need to make an attitude adjustment.

DEAR READERS: I am pleased to offer the traditional Thanksgiving Prayer that was penned by my dear mother, Pauline Phillips. No Thanksgiving would be complete for me without it.

Oh, Heavenly Father,

We thank Thee for food and remember the hungry.

We thank Thee for health and remember the sick.

We thank Thee for freedom and remember the enslaved.

May these remembrances stir us to service,

That Thy gifts to us may be used for others.

Amen.

Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

LOVE, ABBY

Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.