WESTBROOK – For better or for worse, bullying is a hot topic around Westbrook High School lately.

Last week, Westbrook junior Victoria Pabst brought the issue to the forefront of the conversation by posting a letter outlining her experiences with bullying at the school. With the fallout from the letter and subsequent news stories fresh in their minds, a large group of eighth-graders from Westbrook Middle School gathered at the high school last week to meet with students and learn about high school life and the pressures – including how to deal with bullying – they will be facing when they enter the school in the fall.

High school counselor Dr. Bruce Dyer, who was running the May 25 program, said that it was designed to help the younger kids manage the transition to high school.

“Transitions are the hardest thing for kids,” he said.

Dyer said that the eighth-graders would be looking for ways to fit in when they come to the high school in the fall, and the idea of the program was to give them a chance to hear from some positive role models.

The eighth-graders were at the school all day, and in the afternoon, they met in small groups with two or three high-schoolers to have a chance to talk about issues like bullying from the older students.

Dyer said that bullying is a problem that is common in all high schools, not just Westbrook, and, thanks to the advent of the Internet, it can take on a much different form than it did a generation ago.

“I think kids see it a lot more than we do,” Dyer said. “I think so much of it happens through social media. It happens through a look, a sneer, and a glance. Kids pick up on a lot of those non-verbals.”

Junior Evan DiPietrantonio, who was one of the high school students talking to the eighth-graders, said that he feels like a lot of bullying comes in an online form.

“I hear about it more than I see it,” he said. “And that’s probably worse, because they have a lot more confidence when (bullies are) online.”

“A lot of it’s done at home, over the computer and with text messages and stuff,” agreed junior Sam Stauble. “Because it’s a lot easier to say what you want to say when you’re not looking at someone in the eye. If you don’t have to see what you’re doing, and you just send it to them, it’s like you’re not really saying it.”

One thing that the students discussed is how they could step in and help stop bullying when they see it.

Junior Danielle Richards, who is good friends with Pabst, said that she has noticed more incidents of bullying this year.

“I noticed how much a lot of people go through, and it had become a problem and I think we’re working well to try and minimize it,” she said.

“The most important thing is if kids say something,” Richards added. “Because you’re going to look to each other and you want to follow the crowd, and if one person stands up, it makes all the difference.”

Dyer said that having the high school students as positive role models for the younger students could be invaluable in helping curb bullying.

“Our feedback is that kids appreciate and hear the message certainly differently from older peers than they do adults,” he said.

“It means more coming from your peers rather than a teacher,” agreed junior Nick Tremblay.

“Being role models is (to the younger students) is important,” Stauble added. “We’re all part of the same school and the same community. We can all do things to stop it.”

“Your peers make the difference,” said Richards.

Junior Samantha Nealey, who since her freshman year has been a part of the school’s efforts to reduce sexism and violence, said students can play a big role in helping their fellow students who have been victims of bullying.

“I think students are one of the main factors in stopping this,” Nealey said. “And I think that if more kids were ready to take a stand, it could be something that could really go far.”

Having a program where incoming freshmen hear from upperclassmen about how to act in high school is also valuable, Nealey said.

“I think it’s really important for the upperclassmen to step up,” she said. “They need to set the standards for the people coming in.”

While the school administration has policies in place to deal with bullying, Dyer said that isn’t the complete answer, though it is a step in the right direction.

“Policies will only take us so far,” Dyer said. “I think policies set the boundaries so that we know what the right thing to do is.”

What Dyer is hoping to accomplish is to get the student body involved in changing the culture of the school by refusing to stand for bullying.

“We set the tone here and will continue to set the tone next year so that it becomes an unpopular thing to be a bully,” he said. “The bully will be excluded from being the cool thing to do. It’s about stepping up and doing what’s right.”

From left, Westbrook High School  juniors Nick Tremblay, Sam Stauble and Evan DiPietrantonio talk to eighth-graders from Westbrook Middle School about bullying and other issues they might face as incoming freshmen next fall at the high school on May 25. (Staff photo by Mike Higgins)