The lines have been painted. The mile-markers have been set. Everything is coming together for the 11th annual Beach to Beacon.

And I’m freaking out.

Just a little bit. When you’re going along in your world, busy with work, friends and, oh yeah, that nationally acclaimed road race training, you have a tendency to forget about the actual event for which you’re preparing. Time sneaks up on you until you’re left, a week before the event, silently hoping something delays the event for a few more weeks.

Inability to comprehend the timeline leading up to an event is a common theme of mine. A few weeks ago I swam in a triathlon with very little training. I paddled the open-ocean course without one iota of grace and, by some miracle, managed to pull myself through the breakers to the shore.

I still consider myself lucky I got out of that one alive.

Granted, I’m much better prepared for this event than the swim. Besides having spent the past several years as a casual runner, I’ve participated in several training runs and have learned how to keep myself at a constant pace. A couple weeks ago, I jogged the race course, so I have an idea of what I’m up against (terrain-wise. I don’t think there’s any way for a 22-year-old first time racer to prepare for competing against Olympic-level athletes.) Also, I have a snazzy new pair of sneakers that make me feel a little bit like a running rock star.

I know that I shouldn’t be nervous. During the group runs, I spoke with several people whose goals were simply to finish the race. Participating in the Beach to Beacon is more of a personal challenge then a desire to win the $10,000 prize awarded to the top men and women in the race. (Although, I won’t lie – when I began training a month ago I had an idea that I’d somehow become a superstar racer and blow by my competitors. This was before I had a grip on reality. Which I now do. Sort of.)

During a recent run, I tried to pinpoint exactly why I was feeling so stressed. I love to run and on Aug. 2, I’d be running with thousands of other people who (presumably) love it as much as I do. Over five thousand, to be exact. Which is quite a few people….maybe that was it. Maybe I was afraid I’d be trampled to death by a mass of athletes. MAYBE the Beach to Beacon was making me face a long buried sense of claustrophobia!

Oh, if only it were that simple. As I finished my run, I knew that the reason for my jitters is that I have high expectations of myself and I want to turn in an impressive time…and I just don’t know if I can. I know I’ll finish, but I don’t know how quickly.

So here it is – the big analogy.

For years, I have been in a serious relationship with running. Sometimes it was exhilarating, sometimes it was tiring and sometimes we needed a break. When I signed up to run in the Beach to Beacon, running and I took the next step. We were now, officially, engaged. We were working harder to prepare for something more serious, something that required commitment and effort. The Beach to Beacon is when running and I get married. The big event is when I will find out if I made the right choice in taking something I really loved and making it a requirement.

I hope I love it. I hope I love the challenge, the competitors, the finish line. I hope that all the work I’ve put into the race pays off and I cross that line with another mile left in my legs.

But, I might not finish well. I might be dragging my feet, completely worn out by the other, more energetic participants.

Oh well. If it doesn’t work out, I know one thing for sure – running and I will still be friends.