Back to school in Scarborough this year was more reminiscent of my childhood back-to-school days. School never started until after Labor Day, and that was a good thing. Growing up, it was a tradition to have one last mini vacation in the Adirondacks. And I remember that five-hour drive back home. I would get in the back of the family van and cry, hoping that nobody would see me. Summer was over and the anxiety of the new school year had kicked in.

Raising boys, it’s a different story, I don’t see any anxiety. Two of my three sons love school and my youngest expressed sadness when the school year ended in June. Professional student in the making? Time will only tell. But I know one thing, it doesn’t come from my side of the family.

Even when they transition to new schools, I ask if they’re nervous or worried that they won’t know where to go. I have to stop myself and ask what’s wrong. You see, I keep having these reoccurring nightmares that go like this: I’m in school, but I haven’t gone to class all quarter. I’ve realized that it’s time to get my act together and actually attend that class. But there’s a problem. I’ve lost my schedule, and I can’t remember the day that the class was on or where the class is located. I’m too embarrassed to ask. Shame has gotten the best of me. I know better. If I had been going to class all along I wouldn’t be in this situation. The thought of a failing grade wakes me from a dead sleep – my heart pounding. I’m relieved, phew, only a nightmare. People have told me that these dreams mean a fear of failure.

And then, there’s the other reoccurring dream. New England College calls me up and tells me that I actually never completed the required classes for my diploma, and they’re retracting it if I don’t come back and complete the requirements. Waking up from these dreams doesn’t bother me so much. I often contemplate returning to college for another degree. But then I do a reality check.

A few years ago my husband (the more scholarly other half) attempted a master’s degree. He would arrive home with piles of reading and work to do. A year later, he put the idea on hold. Though he loved what he was learning, smaller doses would have been better.

Still, as the school bus rumbles down the road at the start of the school year, I feel that anxious knot in my stomach bringing me back to my childhood. No matter my age, my mind keeps saying: Go back to school!

Too old for school? Think again. Research has found that education enhances your sense of well being. By engaging in lifelong learning, perception of aging improves according to researchers at the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute, a research collaborative at the University of Southern Maine that conducted a three-year study of 45 members who took classes for three consecutive years in Portland.

Stretching the intellect and learning new things is deeply satisfying as we age. “I learned new things. I think new things,” said one 90-year-old learner. Women who served in caretaking/parental roles, now in their 60s and 70s, felt that the courses were an outlet to find their voice, learn something for themselves and about themselves. Others discovered that the learning environment fostered an ability to look past stereotypes and discover energy and vitality in peers, which changed their views about themselves and the thought of aging itself. One participant added, “I feel validated for who I am”.

There are no grades, no credits, no tests, no entrance requirements and no college background needed at the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute. Courses are held on Fridays and are peer taught. There is one requirement, however, which makes me ineligible for now – participants must be age 50 or over. So, if you, too, have these reoccurring nightmares or dreams – relax. There’s something you can do about it. Classes run Sept. 14-Nov. 2. For more information, contact Rebecca Quinlan at rquinlan@usm.maind.edu or visit www.usm.maine.edu/olli.

For now, I’ll let the school bus anxiety churn my gut.