At 4 pm each day, I know where I should be: Sitting down enjoying a nice cup of tea with milk.

When my schedule permits, I carry this ritual out. And when I’m unable to sit down, I’m ever mindful that it is tea time and I’m missing out. Often, in the rush of it all, I’ll grab a cup for the road, but it just isn’t the same. Tea time is a time to relax, sit and sip. If friends are around, it’s time to chat. Authentic tea time means bone china, tea pots adorned with a tea cozy to keep surplus water hot – you won’t be stopping at one cup. And, while you’re at it, how about a few sweets to go with it!

I got turned onto tea time when I spent my sophomore year of college in England. Along with the 10 pounds I gained while I was there, the ritual came home with me. It was a memory treasured, and a ritual that meant so much more than simply a drink of one of many beverages of choice these days.

When I was a young child, a woman from England came to work for the family business. She became a dear family friend. Her cream puffs and pastries were like no other. Without fail, each day when her children came home from school, the tea party was on. And didn’t this ritual stick with her children, family and friends. She passed away several years ago, and at her memorial service, no story was complete without a mention of the tea time experience.

There’s been little room in my schedule for tea the last few weeks. The week before Christmas, I was asked if I would write the history of Scarborough’s churches for the 350th anniversary book being published in September. I was given a deadline of Dec. 31 to get this all done. I can assure you, the last thing any of Scarborough’s ordained needed thrown at them the week before Christmas was a request for history information. It didn’t stop me from asking, but when it wasn’t forthcoming, the request was of a different nature: Please, oh pretty please, may I have an extension? There is a God. The wish was granted. I was given two more weeks.

I’m not a big history buff. I confess that I give little thought to local history. But doing this project has opened my eyes. We should look back to look ahead. We can learn a lot by looking back.

Scarborough’s First Congregational Church has a well- documented history. And what a history it is. I won’t go into details – you’ll have to buy the book. But not only have I become a Scarborough history buff, this writing project also refocused my priorities. The infamous church ladies have a way of setting you straight.

Scrambling to get my information as quickly as possible – because, let’s be honest, we’re always on the run – I was told that the best way to learn about what was going on today at the First Congregational Church was to call the church ladies. Armed with phone numbers, I started making calls. My intent was to ask them to e-mail me their memories.

Before I knew it, I was at the “Golden Girls” tea party. It was a special occasion, a milestone birthday to celebrate. Mary Lello the widow of the Rev. Lello, who served the church in the 1940s, was 85.

“She can give you all the information you’ll need,” explained Betty Hart, the host, who, at age 76, continues running the Pied Piper Nursery School that she started at the church in 1971. Their stories went back decades, yet they spoke as if it were yesterday. It was obvious that age doesn’t stop any of them from doing what they’ve done their whole life – serve.

And before me, an authentic tea had been served: bone china tea pot and cups with saucers, a nicely set table complete with centerpiece and candles, and plenty of dainty pastries to top the party off. This gathering of all the ladies in one spot, having a great time, and sharing their life with me in person was so much better than e-mail. As I looked back on their lives, I was inspired to change mine.

Every day we live, history is in the making. The busy-ness of my day had given way to the hot paper cups of tea, packaged Power bars and microwave popcorn. Life these days is on the go. Being in touch with friends through a variety of electronic devises has become my norm. What kind of memories am I creating for my kids?

So, pull out the china, bake up some cookies, gather some friends and sit down for tea. Life’s is short – so serve it up.