“There is always death and taxes; however, death doesn’t get worse every year.” Unknown

Lane/Tommy: It’s time to say goodbye to 2006 and welcome in the new year. Will 2007 be a year of real tax relief and reform or will it be another year of the same old lies from the same old politicians? There have been campaign promises made that have to be fulfilled. Anyone taking bets?

Lane: There are already 2,400 proposed pieces of legislation for the 123rd Legislature to review. Some of these will come at no cost to the taxpayers and others will increase our already heavy tax burden. Our Maine government has a history of approving legislation now and figuring out how to pay for it at a later date. Increasing starting salaries is a good example. Does anyone know what the cost will be?

Tommy: Will we ever see tax relief in this state? Promises have been made but it seems to me that many of those promises were never delivered. There always appears to be an excuse of having to pay for another new unfunded mandate and after that we will get tax relief. Remember when you were a child who wanted something? You threw a temper tantrum and your parents appeased you to a certain point. You didn’t receive exactly what you wanted but what you did receive seemed to be a comfort for the moment.

Lane: Does this remind people of what our governor and legislature have done in the recent past? We will give you tax relief although we won’t tell you that you are paying yourself!

Tommy: What will taxed next? There is already a proposal to bring back Maine’s Snack Tax, increasing the so-called sin taxes on tobacco and alcohol, soda and God knows what else just to pay for the botched Dirigo Health program that has been by no means successful to date. Let’s face it, this is just another increase in taxes, pure and simple. I wonder what other taxes will be increased or invented to satisfy the hunger of our elected officials.

Lane: Well, how about a dam tax? That’s right, if you own a dam in Maine you’ll probably be paying taxes on that dam real soon. Imagine that, a dam tax for a dam site! Make no mistake about it, if you pay a tax on a dam, what in the world will be taxed next? I don’t want to give anyone ideas but how about a cow patty tax? After all, cows contribute to global warming because they release methane. We could call it a gas tax!

Tommy: I will take a different approach and say that our legislature is Machiavellian in nature. Let me explain this chain of thought. Machiavellian means that someone is deceitful and crafty. The term comes from an Italian statesman (1469-1527) who advised the use of any means, however unscrupulous, that would strengthen a nation.

Lane/Tommy: So we ask again, will we ever see true tax-and-spending reform in the state of Maine? We have heard the election promises. Remember the five “Ws” you heard as a child. We all know why we need tax reform, so who will deliver what, when and where?

Lane: This coming year we will be watching both local and state budget proceedings. We will write about the proposed pieces of legislation in Augusta as they become available. This year, some legislators sneaked some pieces of legislation by us so that is a lesson learned.

Lane and Tommy are planning to make their fortune by making fine oak furniture. But with wood prices so expensive, they’ve had to apply for a research and development grant to teach squirrels how to successfully plant acorns in their backyards. Place orders now for your great-great grandchildren’s furniture real soon as they are already getting backlogged.