For 39 years Steve Roberts wondered what had happened to his brother, John, in Vietnam.

Roberts was 16 years old when his brother left for Vietnam. He never saw him again.

“He told me he wasn’t coming back,” a choked up Roberts said this week.

Roberts, of Deering Road in Gorham, will place his brother’s Purple Heart medal on the wall of the traveling replica of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, D.C., next week.

“I hope I don’t fall apart,” Roberts said.

The Dignity Memorial Vietnam Wall Experience will be open to the public Aug. 11, 12 and 13 at Southern Maine Community College in South Portland. Ceremonies will include a flyover by the U.S. Navy and a 21-gun salute.

Knowing the wall was coming, Roberts felt compelled to find out what had happened to his brother all those years ago. He began researching his brother’s death on the Internet. About two weeks ago, he found his brother’s name among those who had died in a battle between U.S. forces and the North Vietnamese.

Marine John Roberts, 18, of South Portland was killed on Oct. 14, 1967. His brother cried Monday as he read his brother’s name and an account of the battle.

Pfc. John Roberts, a Marine machine gunner, was riddled with gunfire while defending “Bastard’s Bridge” a vital link to Con Thien, which was a U.S. combat base in South Vietnam near the demilitarized zone. Roberts was one of 25 GIs killed in the battle. Two dozen more were wounded.

John Roberts Road near the Maine Mall is named in his honor.

‘Okay to cry’

The three-quarter-size replica of the wall will be escorted into Maine on Tuesday, Aug. 8, by 500 motorcycles. Steve Roberts, who joined the Marines in honor of his brother, will ride in the escort on a motorcycle with Pledger Brayington of Standish, a Marine who served in Vietnam. Steve Roberts’ grandson, Steve Ambrose, 7, will also ride in the procession with a Vietnam veteran, Tony Salamone, the best friend of John Roberts.

Roberts encouraged families and friends of loved ones who died in Vietnam to visit the memorial. It would be good for those “trying to heal,” he said.

“I just say go and don’t be afraid of crying. It’s okay to cry,” Roberts said. “So many try to hide their tears.”

Roberts will serve as a guide at the wall to console others. He said many Vietnam veterans are afraid of visiting the memorial. “One vet said he’d pay his respects, but it would be hard,” Roberts said.

A year ago, Roberts mustered the strength to visit the wall in Washington, D.C. “I was a little scared. I finally got up enough courage to go down,” Roberts said.

He went at midnight and found his brother’s name. Roberts cried, but visiting the wall was therapeutic. “It was a healing process for me,” he said.

Carol Lombard Clark of Cape Elizabeth, who had dated John Roberts, accompanied Steve Roberts and his wife to the memorial in Washington last year. Recalling an unusual happening, Clark said one of several books on a podium was already opened to the page inscribed with his name.

Visiting the memorial is tough. Roberts said he knew of a former drill instructor took a veteran on a 10 mile run after the guy broke down at the wall in Washington.

Roberts plans to visit Vietnam and meet the Vietnamese people someday. “I want to shake hands and meet the children,” he said.

As a sole surviving son, the Marines halted Roberts from serving in Vietnam. He trained in jungle warfare and he volunteered for Vietnam duty three times. A machine gunner like his brother, Roberts’ duty included the Panama Canal Zone and Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

When he was young, Steve Roberts had wanted to be a pharmacist, but the loss of his brother disrupted his life. Because of his brother’s death, Roberts enlisted while in high school in South Portland. “I was focused on losing my brother,” he said.

A confusing time

The 1960s were traumatic years for Roberts and the nation. He was a youngster when President John Kennedy was killed. “Then Vietnam. Everything was confusing,” he said, “not understanding the war and these men getting killed.”

Roberts was in school when two Marines with a telegram knocked on his mother’s door. “It tore her apart,” Roberts said.

A Marine escorted his brother’s body home. John Roberts was given a full military funeral and is buried at Calvary Cemetery in South Portland. Steve Roberts and his grandson often visit the grave.

Roberts has the flag that draped his brother’s casket and his home is filled with memorabilia. His brother’s medals, including the Purple Heart and one for gallantry, are preserved in a case.

His brother’s photo is posted on the refrigerator along other mementoes that include a sign that says “pray for our troops.” He keeps his brothers letters in a shoebox.

Roberts opened an October 1967 issue of Life Magazine that has a photo he said is his brother in Vietnam. “There’s no question,” he said. “That’s Johnny.”

He and his brother were close. They often rode their bikes together and walked along cliffs at the ocean. The times spent roaming Willard Beach are the most memorable moments he recalled sharing with his brother.

His brother enjoyed archery and stamp collecting. John Roberts liked to pull practical jokes on friends. “He hid in a closet and jumped out to surprise me,” Steve Roberts recalled when his brother was home on leave.

Clark first met John Roberts when he was a 13-year-old paperboy. “Soul wise, I never disconnected with him,” she said. “I’m sure I would have married him.”

She said he was generous and fun to be with. “There was nothing like that guy. He’s etched in my mind and in my heart,” she said.

Both Steve Roberts and Clark will take active roles while the memorial is here. Clark will sing the national anthem in closing ceremonies on Sunday, Aug. 13, at the traveling memorial.

Steve Roberts will help assemble the memorial when it arrives. “I’m real proud to be part of all this,” he said.

An author, Clark is writing a screenplay, “Goodbye Caroline.” “It’s about Johnny,” she said.