A high school gym teacher once gave me some of the best advice I ever got. He gave it to me after I finished explaining to him why I wasn’t going to be able to get to my homework until much later that night, after tennis practice and several hours at my job shelving books at the local library.

“A job, what do you have a job for? You’ve got the rest of your life to work,” he told me.

At the time, I knew he was right, but the words have seemed to ring more true with each passing year. Most people think of childhood as being a carefree time, when they didn’t have jobs, mortgages and children of their own, but that time isn’t as stress free as many people might think.

The stress children experience is the subject of a new book, “The Pressured Child.” The Pond Cove Parents’ Association is hosting a book discussion on it in the Pond Cove Media Center at 7:30 p.m. on Monday, Feb. 13.

Many kids suffer from as much stress as adults. Going to school, doing homework, playing sports and participating in other extracurricular activities can quickly fill up a schedule.

I still remember racing home from tennis practice to shower so that I could jump in my car and race to work. I’d usually arrive about 15 minutes late, and my evening had only just begun.

I’m not sure if I could have slowed down if I tried. Everything seemed necessary. I had to go to school. I’d been playing tennis since I was a kid and couldn’t imagine skipping out on my competitive high school years. Working was the only way to put gas in my car, which was at the time, perhaps, my most prized possession.

Besides, everyone else was doing it. That’s one of the points made in the book parents will be discussing in Cape next week. Author Michael Thompson believes most kids impose the stress on themselves. They see other kids playing sports, joining clubs and working at jobs and can’t imagine doing less.

That’s where parents come in. They need to impress upon their kids the importance of enjoying being young. It’s good for kids to have some structured activities outside of school, but too much can be a bad thing.

A few of Thompson’s tips appear in a front-page story this week. He suggests, first and foremost, talking to kids about the pressures in their lives. That’s going to require that parents go beyond the common question, “How was school today?” That will often elicit a one-word answer.

Ask some specific follow-up questions. Ask about the good and the bad and how it’s affecting them. Many kids won’t offer it on their own.

Thompson also suggests scheduling too many activities for children can be a big part of the problem. That’s why some parents have started making unstructured time a required part of the schedule.

Although kids might not like it at first, they might thank parents in the long run. I know I didn’t heed my gym teacher’s advice, even though I knew he was probably right. And, the older I get, the more I regret that.

Brendan Moran, editor