ALFRED — Tammy Cole’s voice trembled, a mix of grief and anger.

Grief for her two sons who were gunned down on a street in Biddeford 19 months ago, and for the older brother who still can’t bear to speak their names.

Anger for the man who pulled the trigger.

“Rory Holland has given me a life sentence,” Cole told the judge Monday as everyone in the packed courtroom listened in silence.

“Life for life. A life sentence for Derek. A life sentence for Gage,” she said. “I only wish there was a way that he could pay a life sentence for myself and my son Shawn also.”

PORTLAND – Over the course of Chad Gurney’s two-week murder trial, lawyers for the state and the defense used every tool available in the justice system to get inside the defendant’s mind.

Interviews with police. Journal entries. E-mails. Reports from friends, past girlfriends and family members. Medical records. Evaluations by psychologists and psychiatrists.

Justice Roland Cole will decide Chad Gurney’s legal fate because the defendant waived his right to a jury.

Closing arguments are likely today before the judge’s ruling on the murder suspect’s fate.

He thought a spiritual guru commanded him to kill as a test, a defense expert says.

Amber Wallace says Chad Gurney never talked about hearing voices before he killed Zoe Sarnacki.