I was born in Portland, Maine, in 2003, and I plan to die in Portland, Maine, hopefully many decades into the future.

The house I have lived in all my life is on William Street, six blocks and a highway overpass from Fitzpatrick Stadium, home to the Portland High School Bulldogs.

Every day from the sixth to the eighth grade, I would walk to King Middle School, passing Fitzpatrick Stadium twice a day.

In the mornings, I would leave my house early to play football or soccer or even to wrestle with my friends on the high jump and pole vault mats that often line the endzones of the field. In the afternoons, I would do the same thing in the hour before the high school sports practices started, always hoping to catch a glimpse of my older brother and his teammates who I idolized so much.

In eighth grade, when I had to decide which of the city high schools I would attend, there was no doubt in my mind that I was to be a Portland High School Bulldog. I have not regretted that decision a day in my life.

Tonight is Monday, Oct. 7, 2024, and while I have been writing this the unthinkable has happened.

The Portland City Council has voted 6-2 in approval of an amendment to a preexisting lease agreement regarding the use, upkeep and upgrades to the facilities at Fitzpatrick Stadium, between the city of Portland and the incoming pro soccer team Portland Hearts of Pine, who are set to kick off their inaugural season this upcoming summer.

Most importantly, the amendment confirmed that upon the replacement of the turf playing surface, there would no longer be a bulldog at midfield. Fitzpatrick Stadium and the bulldog logo at its center were quite literally the core of my identity throughout my adolescence, so obviously this hurts.

Representing my city and the centuries of our collective history in competing has given me feelings of pride and meaning that I have otherwise yet to discover in my still-young life. What makes me even more incensed than the stripping away of our identity is the lack of understanding on the part of the perpetrator.  

Over the past five years, the city of Portland has been inundated with news of an incoming pro soccer club. Originally I was ecstatic that the USL was launching a franchise in Portland; the league model emphasized community engagement and grassroots player development.

After the club’s hard launch as Portland Hearts of Pine in the spring of 2023, their founder, Gabe Hoffman-Johnson, said, “We want to take social responsibility to the next level and set a new benchmark for community-minded professional clubs in America.” This reinforced my belief that the club would be an agent for good within Portland.

The club’s Instagram organized fan meetups and community engagement events while also collaborating with organizations in Portland like Kennedy Park F.C. to spread the word that Portland Hearts of Pine were coming to town, and the team was for the people.

How can an organization with such a proclaimed devotion to the city do something that can only be described as deeply insensitive to the people who live here? It makes no sense. 

On the Portland Hearts of Pine Instagram page, the bio claims that it is “Maine’s team.” The club’s supporter group, Dirigo Union, described itself as “for the people of Portland” in its own Instagram bio.

While those words are cute, the group’s collective lack of sensitivity in removing the bulldog logo shows a total lack of respect toward the people of Portland.

If the club’s ownership truly had the capital to set up a successful professional soccer club, they wouldn’t be using a high school stadium. And if the Portland Hearts of Pine truly cared about grassroots soccer in the city, why would the club occupy the only suitable playing surface for kids living on the peninsula during the summer?

Portland Hearts of Pine and Dirigo Union issued statements saying they stand alongside the students of Portland High School, while deflecting blame to school administrators and city officials. This is all white noise.  

That Portland Hearts of Pine would ever consider removing the bulldog logo from Fitzpatrick Stadium should tell us all we need to know about the club’s commitment to our city.