I was scrolling through Instagram the other day after work and came across a happy adoption story in my feed. It was a sweet story of a dog left overnight at a shelter in their designated public drop-off area. He had been left with his bed, food, toys and a handwritten note from his family. He was elderly and he had been with the same family his whole life. They knew everything about him and put lots of great information in the note, making sure to put in everything that had made him such a wonderful dog for their family.

The family who adopted him adored him, which was the point of the post. They made the video in the hopes that his first family would see it; they wanted to reassure them that he was happy, doing well and was very loved. I may have gotten a little teary because it was so sweet, and I was so happy that a senior dog found such a lovely new home. Then I made a mistake: I read the comments.

Some people were as touched as I was, leaving their thanks for sharing the story and for taking care of an older dog, with some even commending the original family for obviously caring so much for him and leaving such a thorough note. Others, however, chose to take this story as an opportunity to vilify a family they had never met and disparage the dog’s original family. Comments such as “I would never give up my pet,” and “I would live on the street with my dog before I gave him up,” and “How could you ever do that to a senior pet?” were littered through the comment section with people reinforcing each other’s self-righteous outrage.

I find these kinds of statements to show a significant lack of empathy and a disconnect from the lived reality for many in our country. I have never been faced with imminent homelessness; I have luckily always been housing secure and had the safety net of my very pet friendly family in the background should I ever have needed them. Not everyone is in that situation, and the cold, hard reality is that it is very difficult to live outside or in a car with a pet, much less multiple pets. Many human shelters do not allow pets, and with Maine’s cold winters and increasingly warm summers, living in a car with a pet isn’t a viable option.

There is also the very important question of what is in the best interests of the pet? Is it fair to take an indoor-only cat used to living in a climate-controlled home and put a harness on her and ask her to live outdoors? Is it fair to take a dog accustomed to the comforts of a couch and dog bed in an indoor home and restrict them to a car for days, weeks or months? Or is it the more selfless decision for the pet’s well-being to bring them to a shelter to find a new family?

Beyond housing, there are many reasons a pet may find their way to a shelter. My redbone coonhound, Daphne, was originally a foster of mine when I lived in Portland. She absolutely hated the city! I didn’t have a fenced yard, so we did all our time outside on a leash. Daphne hated cars driving by, hated having to be on a leash, the sounds coming from parks or schools, just all of it. She really wasn’t happy. I would have returned her from foster to go up for adoption when it was time if my husband, whom I was then dating, hadn’t been able to take her out to where he was living in Bridgton. It turned out that she loved the woods, loved his other dogs and loved his kids, so she never left. Had I been an adopter, however, I would have likely returned her for being incompatible with my living situation. This is a common reason for surrender; not every pet is right for every home and that is OK! Sometimes, we can help people work through the issues, and in other situations, it is best for both the pet and the person for the pet to find a new home.

There are myriad other situations that cause pet surrenders, such as pets not getting along with other pets or children in the home, medical or behavioral issues, financial problems, mental health issues, and legal troubles, to name just a few.

Every pet I’ve ever had, bar the dog that came with my husband, had at least one other home before mine. I’d like to think that the people who had them before me gave them to the shelter because they felt it was the right thing to do, both for the pet and for themselves. I would also like to think they would be happy that their pet ended up with me.

I do not see any real benefit to pets or to our society as a whole in villainizing people who surrender pets to shelters. After all, housing pets who have no other options is what we are here for, and it is not fair to get upset at people for using services offered. Instead, I would ask people to consider if they have supported their local shelter and its programs to ensure those pets get the best care they can. That will go much further than internet outrage.

Jess Townsend is executive director of Midcoast Humane.