She keeps me humble, as a wife is supposed to do. She cares for me, thinks I’m a wonderful person, makes great food and tells me when and how to eat it. She watches to make sure I don’t embarrass myself by trying to do more than I am capable of while others are watching. She tells me when to stand up, sit down, get dressed, get ready for bed, and regularly asks me if I have brushed my teeth. For some folks it might sound oppressive, but it works for me. Means I don’t have to worry about all that stuff as long as she’s going to take care of it for me.

When she’s finished with me, I feel cared for and good about myself, and can face the rigors of the day and venture forth to make my mark upon the world with some confidence.

If you need some specific examples, I am happy to oblige.

Look, Orrin, just because they are called “throw pillows” doesn’t mean you have to throw them, when you’re, making up the bed.

Look, Orrin, just hot water doesn’t get things clean, you have to use soap and scrub, too.

Look, Orrin, we don’t just drop our clothes on the floor and leave them there for someone to trip over, or worse yet, closely examine.

Look, Orrin, we never put the metal soup ladle or the aluminum baking pans in the dishwasher, because it just turns them an ugly grayish-brown.

I admit that I had a mind-slip and actually went on to suggest that, if we put all of the metal baking pans, along with the metal soup ladle, through the dishwasher together, then they would all come out the same color and would match again.

Her answer was a simple “No.” And this “No” was neither sharp nor soft, and not long or short. It was no louder, and no softer than any of her other words, and yet, it was the most solid, unyielding, hyperstaministical “No” that I have ever heard. Its presence was rock solid.

You know, usually when someone says something, the words just hang there in the air for a brief moment and then quickly fade away? Well, this one hung there for a full five minutes. She must really love me to think I deserve a “No” like that.

Orrin Frink is a Kennebunkport resident. He can be reached at ofrink@gmail.com.