DEAR ABBY: The other day at my in-laws’, my mother in-law, father-in-law, “Bert,” and I were in their computer room. Bert has pictures of his family posted on his bulletin board and we often look at them when we’re in the room.

One of the photos he posted recently I found disturbing. It was of a young, wellendowed woman in her early 20s wearing a tight tube top. What disturbed me was that Bert has printed my 16-yearold daughter’s name underneath and the date “2017.” When I asked him about it, he said that was what she will look like at 21. My mother in-law said she thought it was crude, and I think it’s unnerving for a grandfather to be picturing his only granddaughter in such a manner.

We have a great family life and I wouldn’t want that to end over a picture, but I don’t want to look at it, and I don’t think this is behavior that’s expected from a man in his 60s.

How should I broach the subject that the photo needs to come down?

CONCERNED FATHER

FROM GREAT LAKES

DEAR CONCERNED FATHER: Grandpa “Bert” appears to be a dirty old man. I’m not sure “you” should talk to him about this. It would have more impact if you, your wife AND your mother-in-law do it together. When you do, tell him that putting your daughter’s name under the picture was in poor taste and you ALL want the picture with your daughter’s name shredded. (That way you’re sure it’s gone.)

Privately, your wife should ask your daughter if Grandpa Bert has ever done anything that made her uncomfortable. If the answer is yes, confront him. If not, explain your concerns to your daughter, tell her you and your wife love her, and she can always come to you with any concerns of her own.

DEAR ABBY: I’m a young mother who dropped out of high school because I didn’t have enough credits. I started a great job in fast food and have a very understanding boss. I met my boyfriend at work. We’ve lived together since before my son was born and he has helped me to raise my boy. (His biological dad left me and has had no contact since I was two months pregnant.)

Lately I have been incredibly depressed. I’m nowhere I wanted to be in life, miserable in my relationship and have started to hate my job. I’m clinically diagnosed as bipolar and on medication. I have also been seeing a therapist since I was very young. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to throw my life away. I love my son and want the best for him.

Any advice on how to pick myself up?

DOWN DEEP IN
CLEVELAND

DEAR DOWN DEEP: Yes. Tell your therapist that you are cycling into a depression. Your medications may need to be adjusted. Next, explore completing your high school education by getting a GED degree, which may widen your employment opportunities. Once you’re feeling better, you should consider whether you want to end the romantic relationship you have with your boyfriend. When your emotions are on an even keel, you’ll be better able to make that decision.

P.S. If you’re not receiving child support, contact the department of social services in your state, because your child’s father should have been contributing regularly.

DEAR ABBY: When filling salt and pepper shakers that aren’t marked, does the salt go into the one with the fewer holes on the top?

PLEASE PASS

THE SALT

DEAR PLEASE PASS THE SALT: There is no set rule. Although traditionally the salt shaker is the one with more holes, because doctors now advise Americans to cut back on our salt intake, it might make more sense to put it into the shaker with fewer holes.

DEAR ABBY: What percentage of women’s problems do you think could be avoided if, for the first year after beginning to date someone, they were to use birth control and not marry?

Many of the women who write to you seem to be shocked that the men they’re with do not have sterling characters. But I have never dated anyone who could hide his true colors longer than six months.

I’m sure the same is true of women, too.

Much of your advice to these ladies entails seeking counseling or an attorney, but to the millions of women who haven’t yet made this mistake, how about a shoutout for prevention? The heart is ungovernable, but people do have absolute power to use birth control and avoid rushing into marriage.

SUSAN IN ARIZONA

DEAR SUSAN: Sometimes people marry before they really know themselves, let alone their partner. But I’m all for giving that shout-out for prevention of unplanned pregnancies. According to the Guttmacher Institute, 49 percent of the 6.7 million pregnancies each year fall into this category. While some result from carelessness or mistakes in using birth control, others stem from lack of assertiveness on the part of women because they are economically dependent or lack the self-esteem to insist their partner use a condom.

Your comment about rushing into marriage until you really know someone reminds me of the saying, “Act in haste, repent at leisure.” Perhaps it should be amended to, “Act in haste, repent, repent, repent.”

Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.