DEAR HARRIETTE: I am getting my breast implants removed for health reasons. I fell on the stairs, and an implant ruptured and spread silicone in parts of my chest. I know I must get my implants removed because the silicone could make me sick. What bothers me the most about this whole procedure is how my husband is acting. He is pretending to mourn the loss of my breasts. Although he claims he is joking, I know he is serious underneath it all. I have had these implants for the entirety of our time together, but this is my health we’re talking about. I have told him my breast size does not make me any less of a woman. I am frustrated with him and want to concisely and honestly convey my feelings. Every time I try to think of something, it feels as though I would end up yelling at him. What can I say to start this conversation? He needs to get over the implants; there is more to me. – No More Fake, San Jose, California

DEAR NO MORE FAKE: To be fair, if your husband has only known your breasts one way, it is understandable that he would “mourn” the upcoming change. You set the bar by getting the implants. So give him time to adjust to the new reality. You may want to point out to him that it could be much worse. Many women literally lose their breasts due to breast cancer. Hopefully, you will not have to face that – or any other life-threatening illness. Ask him to support you during this scary part of your journey.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I am going through a lessthan amicable divorce from my wife. Our children are young (4 and 6 years old). When I FaceTime with them, sometimes the kids will ask me if I want to “talk to mommy.” I’ve been lying and saying I spoke to her earlier on the phone, which seems to make my kids happy. I’ve been feeling conflicted about lying to my children like this, but they really do not understand what is going on between their mother and me. Is it wrong to lie to a young child like this? I cannot imagine any conversation between my soon-to-be ex and me going smoothly right now. – Avoiding FaceTime Confrontation, Detroit

DEAR AVOIDING FACETIME CONFRONTATION: You and your wife actually do need to figure out how to communicate with each other in a respectful way – for the children. You will never be completely separated from each other, because you have children together. Reach out to her and ask to have a conversation about the children. Do your best to talk with each other about the welfare of the children and how you can work together to care for them. This may be difficult at first, but it is essential for their mental well-being.

You can even talk about how to talk to your children about the separation. Though they are young, they are very sensitive. Agree together on your strategy and then implement it. No matter how hard it is to work together, do it.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.