DEAR HARRIETTE: In the fall, I had a fling. It lasted only a few days until he went back to Philadelphia. Now he’s moved back to my city to be closer to his family. During our time apart, we didn’t speak, but I held out hope that this summer, we would rekindle what we had.

I was stunned when at a get-together of old friends, he brought his new girlfriend to meet everyone. It’s like he doesn’t even remember the fall! I thought there could’ve been something, and I didn’t date so I could wait for him. I want to talk to his new girlfriend. I feel like if she knew our past, she would take a step back with him. I would never try to wreck his relationship; I would simply explain what happened between us and how I thought we’d be together. My friends think I’m crazy, but I think this is just crazy enough to work. Should I contact her? – Speaking the Truth, Newark, New Jersey

DEAR SPEAKING THE TRUTH: You should not contact this woman. What you need to do is to accept the truth. Sadly, you wished that your fling were the start of a relationship, even though nothing occurred to lead you to believe that. Since you were not in contact with this man after your romantic interlude, you had no concrete reason to believe that he would suddenly step back into your life if he ever came back to town. I’m sorry, but your hopes were delusional. Do not get in between him and his girlfriend. That would be unkind to her and confusing to him. You can enjoy the memories that you had with this man, but be clear that they remain in the past. You are not part of his present.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my favorite nights of the month is having a night out with my boys. We go to a bar to watch sports, go bowling and get competitive or get together during the day to be active. I always come home in a better mood after seeing my buddies. We’re all busy, but we carve out a day once a month to hang out. Recently, I feel like my wife has been trying to butt in on boys’ night. She asks a lot of questions about what we do and what we say to each other, almost like she doesn’t trust the story that I am telling her. She also asked if any other wives come to these and expressed interest in coming to check out what we are up to. I obviously love my wife. I just like to have alone time with my boys. She says she wouldn’t bother us – she just wants to sit in and see what it’s like. I want to let her down easy while easing her suspicion about our completely normal boys’ nights. What can I say so she stops trying to attend? – Boy’s Night Out, Dallas

DEAR BOYS’ NIGHT OUT: Invite the boys to your home once for boys’ night. Tell them in advance that she is concerned and needs to see for herself how you all enjoy each other’s company. Create ground rules. She can support the gathering but not participate, including not staying in the room all night. That should squash her fears.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.