DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother and I lost touch for more than six months. We had always been inseparable siblings, but a few little arguments led to ignored calls. I called him a few days ago and left a voicemail, saying our late father would be disappointed in how we were acting. That finally got a reaction from him. However, instead of seeing that family should come first, he berated me for bringing our father into our argument.

I want my brother to stop being angry and to realize blood is thicker than water. I won’t apologize for mentioning our father, especially since what I said was true. – Sibling Spat, Cambridge, Massachusetts

DEAR SIBLING SPAT: Your brother is right. Bringing your late father into your standoff probably felt like you trying to guilt him into talking to you again. That was not a good strategic move. I recommend that you apologize, especially if your goal is to get to some meaningful moment of reconnection.

Reach out to your brother and let him know how much you miss him and regret that anything has come between you. Tell him that you mentioned your late father because you were hoping his memory might invoke good feelings. You are sorry that it did not. Tell him you want to revive your relationship and ask what he thinks you can do to that end.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my closest friends from college and I are finally working in the same city. We had spoken about getting an apartment together, so I went to work finding a place for us right away. I told her today that I found the perfect place for us, and she told me that she already found a house with friends in the suburbs and would be commuting to work. I was furious. I purposely didn’t renew my lease because I thought I was moving. Now I’m stuck in the mud and mad at my friend. Is there any way we could fix this relationship? I have no idea where I can go now, and I’m getting kicked out in a month. – Flaky Friend, Syracuse, New York

DEAR FLAKY FRIEND: I wonder about the conversation you had about getting an apartment together. How serious was it? When did it occur? Did you follow up with your friend as you looked for a new space? If you honestly believe that your friend led you on and then just dropped you, that’s one type of reality regarding friend dynamics. But I sincerely question whether you made some assumptions without following up with your friend. To decide to move in together and identify an apartment, go through a credit check, make a down payment – all of that should require active engagement on both of your parts. If that did not happen, it could be that your friend thought she was just shooting the breeze with an old college buddy rather than making a real plan.

Your first responsibility now is to find another apartment. After that, double back to your friend and talk through what happened. Let her know that you feel betrayed, and see where she stands.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.