“A little government and a little luck are necessary in life; but only a fool trusts either of them.” -P.J. O’Rourke.

Lane: Let’s hope that the Maine Legislature got the message concerning their proposed extension of term limits. Now it’s time to turn around our Legislature in several other areas because it just isn’t going to happen if we are not involved.

I firmly believe that the No. 1 goal of the Maine Legislature should be to reduce its size and thus the cost to Maine taxpayers. Remember that there are more personnel in the State House than just our elected representatives and some of them make more than the governor does.

Isn’t it amazing that those elected to serve at either the state or national level receive benefits so quickly while the average person is lucky to end up with Social Security? I say it is time to reduce benefits to elected representatives like medical and retirement. I had to serve 20 years in the military before I could receive any retirement pay and that duty was a lot more hazardous than serving in Augusta or Washington. I do add the fact that what they do is probably more hazardous to us than them.

In Augusta, it is time to set a limit not only on the total amount of proposed legislation but also to set a personal limit for each member of Maine’s House and Senate. This past year Augusta had something like 2,400 pieces of proposed bills, most of which were a total waste of time and money. (That was our money). Soon the Legislature will be convening its second session that should be for emergency legislation and I believe also review of previous legislation that was carried forward to this coming session. As usual there were new proposals like renaming the state flower which for some poor soul that likes Lupine probably considers a national emergency. Each of these proposals are probably printed several hundred times over but not read by several hundred legislators. Perhaps one of the most hilarious bills proposed in the past was a tax on additional toilets in a household. The theory here was that if one had more than one toilet there would be more waste put into the septic tank or sewer system. I guess if someone believed that, they would also believe that a larger gas pedal means the car would go faster.

I also believe that it is time to set some financial guidelines for proposed legislation that would make it necessary to include how any new legislation would be paid for. Right now I believe it is possible in Maine to pass a bill and then worry about the costs it creates in a future budget cycle. I propose that each legislator must propose payment for each new law. If it is a state mandate for local municipal or school districts, then it must include funding for those mandates. This would limit the passing on of costs to the local taxpayer, just as Washington does to Augusta. Those pieces of legislation needed for emergencies like a natural disaster or, God forbid, a terrorist attack like Sept. 11 should be exempted. New legislation that is not for an emergency must reduce costs some other place in government in order to receive its own funding.

Finally, all legislation needs several methods of review to ensure it is effective and not costing more than it was supposed to cost. Australia reviews legislation after six months and one year. If the legislation does not live up to its goal, then it should be automatically cancelled. That committee should also review all legislation every five years or so for the same purpose.

Lane and Tommy of Windham are looking forward to making their fortunes on the next Presidential election. They are creating a new moving company with international destinations like Canada, Mexico and Jamaica since they fully expect droves of Republicans and conservatives to flee if Hillary is elected. They are considering using illegal aliens as moving van drivers, since by that time they will have valid New York drivers’ licenses.