My wife is on one of her semiannual trips to visit her sister and family in Augusta, Ga., so I figured I would have a nice quiet week and watch a lot more television that I enjoy like news and movies.

The news was mostly about presidential candidates giving speeches about how great a president they would be but the movies really sucked because there seems to be an abnormal amount of them about zombies.

Sometime in the middle of the night I awoke with the realization that there is no difference zombies and politicians.

Zombies are, of course, dead beings. Strangest thing is that they are dead people that can be killed, which makes no sense at all. Besides that, they’re downright ugly as far as I am concerned. That makes them no different than politicians and their speeches. When it comes to politics in America, I am almost totally convinced that the average voter in the United States probably isn’t any different from zombies either, but that’s a couple of columns to write about at a later date.

At the national level, Republican presidential candidates are coming out everywhere with political speeches to promote themselves to be America’s next president. On the Democrat side of politics we only have Hillary Clinton with hints that Vice President Joe Biden might attempt a run also. I look at our ever-increasing national debt while presidential candidates will spend billions of dollars to get elected. The biggest problem is that between now and the election of 2016 there’s going to be a lot of fertilizer spread around the United States.

So I will start with Hillary Clinton’s speech about America’s CEOs making 300 times more than their employees. That’s a case of making a very broad statement in order to satisfy her political friends. There is no correlation between the jobs of the average employee and the CEO of a corporation. Evidently her goal is the typical socialist agenda of the United Nations to make everyone in every country the same. Just look at the program called Agenda 21. But even as I write this week’s column someone has reported that Hillary Clinton makes about $300,000 an hour for her speeches. Seems like too much for me but maybe it is true. After all, this is the woman who claimed the Clintons were broke when they left the White House but in fact turned out to be millionaires. I am sure the Zombies weren’t listening.

As far as the Republicans running for president, there are far too many so early in the game that I am hardly listening, although I do pay attention to what message they are attempting to send. There are so many wannabes in the Republican Party this year that I have to presume that they will only damage themselves. They are running around like political zombies attempting to gather support but more than likely are turning a lot of voters off. Time will tell.

And as usual, there is still political deadlock, even though the U.S. Senate and House of Representatives are now controlled by republicans. Just like in Augusta and Windham, there’s a bully in the pulpit and I know I don’t even need to mention names.

Since I mentioned Augusta, the political infighting and name-calling continues as always. I never thought I would hear a governor threaten members of his own political party in a speech but that has certainly happened. Somehow the Us-versus-Them has to stop but in all appearances it won’t so things will continue as in the past. Maybe all the political bickering in Augusta turned them into zombies.

After the last election I thought that Windham might have a unified Town Council that could accomplish something of value. Having watched the council meeting where the town manager was given a pay raise, I can only conclude zombies should listen instead of talking. Fat chance, eh?

Lane Hiltunen of Windham is hanging garlic around his house to ward off vampires who suck on his wallet.