Former U.S. Senator George Mitchell has been appointed by President Obama to be a “special envoy” to the Middle East, and wade into those problems in that part of the world.

(Hang on a second; let me check the AP tickertape here in the office….Nope. No peace accord yet).

In his job, Mitchell will assist Secretary of State Hillary Clinton with diplomatic efforts, negotiating, being a go-between, message carrier, etc…

Although, don’t you suspect that being an assistant to former Sen. Clinton would be kind of like riding shot gun in the NASCAR vehicle of the late Dale Earnhart?

Sit tight, my friend. If I need anything, I’ll be sure to holler.

Mitchell is well known in Scarborough and Cape. He lived at one time in South Portland. He used to come and speak in Scarborough regularly in the l980s. I know he hangs out in The Cape with Harold Pachios, playing tennis at Fort Williams, working the crowds at Beach to Beacon, and sipping those drinks with little umbrellas in them on Harold’s patio, probably at sunset.

I am following Mitchell’s latest diplomatic resume entry/builder for several reasons.

One is he is responsible for several entries so far in the book I am working on – “The 100 Funniest People or Jokes in Maine Political History.”

The second is I want to know if Too Tall MacColl will find humor in Mitchell’s current efforts at peace (the latest chapter, adding to his earlier stint in the Middle East, and a long slog in Northern Ireland during the Clinton years in which everybody involved got a Nobel Peace Prize except him, I think).

When Mitchell first went to the U.S. Senate in l980, I was in law school. I had to summarize some legislation he had sponsored. One bill was an amendment to strengthen the Clean Air Act, or something similarly titled. Another was a similar bill aimed at improving the national Clean Water Act.

MacColl was at the back of the room standing alongside Brother Jones. He raised his hand and said, “So he is in favor of clean air?” Yes, I said, foolishly. “And also clean water?” Yes, I responded again, explaining, “You see, the bill calls for improved….”

MacColl cut me off. “Wow. In favor of clean air AND clean water. That’s really out on a limb!”

Eddie from downtown for two.

My recollection is Professor Petruccelli was in the room and eventually came to the aid of the Senator. But not until he had scratched the 8 ball, as I recall.

Entry number 42 in the history of Maine political humor.

Mitchell accounts for another entry.

He was speaking at the annual Christmas party of the Scarborough Democratic Town Committee in l985 (yes, we still mentioned the word Christmas back then; we did them all…). He spoke in exacting…halting…carefully constructed…Very Heavy and Thoughtful Phrases…”

A New Hampshire political consultant, Joe Grandmaison was in the room. He was there stumping for Severin Beliveau, candidate for Governor from Rumford. I asked him if my impression was correct that George Mitchell was painstakingly thorough in his approach to language.

“Yes,” Joe said, with David Letterman mannerisms and dry wit. “Some people, before they go to bed at night, lay out their clothes for the morning. George Mitchell lays out his sentences.”

True story: When Mitchell was a young lawyer, he conducted a deposition of a witness in a case. The transcript arrived in the mail from the court reporter. He read through it. He was shocked and aghast at the numbers of “ers,” “ums,” “ahs” in the transcript.

From that day forward, he was Careful George.

At the same Christmas party, the former chair, the late Elizabeth “Bibi” McCann stood up, told of a history she was writing of her late father’s firetruck manufacturing business in the early to mid l900s, and asked Mitchell: “In your forthcoming campaign, do you think you will win with 80 percent of the vote or 90.”

Mitchell responded: “Thank you, Bibi, for your support and for having the guts and courage to ask tough questions.”

He added, “For those of you who don’t know this, I am announcing tomorrow the appointment of Bibi as chair of the Firetruck Historian for Mitchell Committee.” Funny!

Okay, perhaps you had to be there.

At another Mitchell event in the late l980s, held at Fort Williams in Cape Elizabeth, Mitchell talked about campaigns and about some polling he was having done on the Oliver North controversy; Mitchell had come down hard on Reagan operative North and his actions in funding activities of the contras in Nicaragua.

Political junkie Tony Buxton was there.

“I want some questions asked on that survey…at the end of it,” he said. “I want all people who are telephoned to be asked, ‘Do you or any members of your immediate family drive a pickup truck?’ Mark my words, every third vehicle in Maine now is a truck.”

He added: “And I want them asked, “Do you know of any males in your extended family who, while driving a motor vehicle, are displaying either a baseball cap or facial hair, or both?’ I think it will be about 33 percent of males in Maine do.”

I marveled at the question – the thought that went into it. Imagine having given that topic enough thought to have come up with a polling question you want posed!

He is right, by the way, I have since decided.

Grandmaison, the consultant, was often irritated by Buxton. He thought Tony sat on the fence on all tough political questions. He slammed him as “The Ultimate Equivicator.”

Tony responded: “I’m not sure that is true.”

Wow. Vaudevillian timing.

Last story, which may be applicable to the Middle East task Mitchell has ahead of him.

He once said he is not shy about approaching political contributors who have given money to his campaigns for another donation.

“Donors are like dairy cows,” Mitchell deadpanned. “They need to be milked regularly to be kept fresh.”

How do you say that in Arabic?

Good luck, George. Send a post card.