Because movie critics should be up front with their biases, I will confess to a long-standing allergy to Rebel Wilson, the Australian comic actress whose entire shtick has consisted of her being “subversively” gross and sticking out her tongue like a cut-rate succubus. I’m of the cohort that has never found Wilson funny — not once — but she’s kept it going for an admittedly impressive 15 years since her American debut in 2010’s “Bridesmaids.”

Recently Wilson has tried branching out, as Lady Capulet in the woeful “Juliet & Romeo” and now as an action hero in the cringingly stupid “Bride Hard.” I’m still allergic, and I suggest you invest in a strong decongestant as well.

As the title suggests, “Bride Hard” tries to mash together the bridesmaid comedy genre with an action thriller, sort of like peanut butter and chocolate but with ice cream and Brussels sprouts. Wilson plays Sam, who was BFFs with Betsy (Anna Camp, “True Blood”) in childhood before presumably moving to Australia, which would explain the otherwise unexplained accent. Now Betsy’s getting married, but in the intervening years, Sam has become a superspy for an unspecified government agency, and her missions conflict with her desire to be Betsy’s maid of honor.

After a brief intro set in Paris (“France,” per a helpful intertitle, in case you were wondering), “Bride Hard” moves off the coast of Georgia to a private island that looks like the plantation wedding destination of a girl’s “lost cause” dreams. There Sam is sidelined by the bride’s sister-in-law (Anna Chlumsky, “Veep”), an amateur wedding planner with a bad case of OCD. And there the festivities are interrupted by a band of machine-gun-wielding bad guys led by a grizzled uber-villain (Stephen Dorff, “True Detective”), with an assist by a surprise collaborator. What are they after? It would barely make sense if I told you. Anyway, Sam to the rescue.

There’s nothing wrong with a good, dumb comedy, but “Bride Hard” doesn’t even qualify as in-flight entertainment. The jokes are witlessly vulgar (sample: “Oh, Sam, you’re alone.” “No, I have my emotional support boobs”), the plot defies plausibility and occasionally the laws of physics, the performances are pitched at the level of a middle school play and the filmmaking is shoddy. There’s one amusing fight scene involving curling irons used as nun-chucks — sorry, spoiler — but that’s about it.

The screenwriter is Shaina Steinberg (with Cece Pleasants sharing story credit) and the director is Simon West, who had a hit with “Con Air” in 1997 and has been working his way down ever since. A few of the better performers do what they can. Dorff tries not to look embarrassed as the snarling antagonist, and Da’Vine Joy Randolph — a recent Oscar winner for “The Holdovers” — gives her all to the role of the bride’s horny Black friend, proving that Hollywood giveth and Hollywood taketh away, especially when it comes to actors of color. But that thing the star does with her tongue seems to have infected the rest of the cast, to which the critic, ransacking his thesaurus, can only say: Ew.

“Walk away, Sam — just walk away,” the heroine is advised at one point during “Bride Hard.” Wiser words were never spoken.

Ty Burr is the author of the movie recommendation newsletter Ty Burr’s Watch List at tyburrswatchlist.com.

R. At area theaters. Sexual references and some violence. 105 long minutes.