“No one should be alone in old age, he thought, but it is unavoidable.” — “The Old Man and the Sea,” Ernest Hemingway

Former U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy has described loneliness as a “global epidemic,” which affects the body as well as the heart.

“We have to take steps in our personal lives to rebuild our connections to one another — and small steps can make a big difference. This is medicine hiding in plain sight. Evidence shows that connection is linked to better heart health, brain health and immunity.”

When Portland resident Heather Kenvin visited Ireland, she heard that in one small town “Third Thursday” is considered the best pub night because that’s when they have music. As a woman living alone in Portland with a zest for socializing, Heather thought the Third Thursday approach could be used to create get-togethers in coffee shops — not bars or pubs — for men and women 50+ who are divorced, widowed, single.

She launched her idea in February 2024, after promoting it on Instagram. Only one person showed up for the first Third Thursday, but that woman shared Heather’s enthusiasm for the idea. Heather thought to herself, “If there’s one, there’s more.”

She ramped up the publicity, starting with local houses of worship, libraries and coffee shops.

“I found electronic event boards on our local newspaper’s website and a TV news website. The lifelong learning center affiliated with a public university proved to be a terrific place to reach interested singles. I’ve contacted adult education and parks and recreation programs. I put up old-fashioned flyers in bookstores. And we’re on Instagram.”

Third Thursday began to attract 10 to 12 people a month in various coffee houses in and around Portland. The initial publicity and word-of-mouth attracted the attention of a producer at a local television station, News Center Maine. The email list for Third Thursday exploded after Heather’s appearance on the show. Today, about 20 to 30 people attend, and the mailing list now includes 140 names.

When asked who shows up, Heather explains, “We’re more women than men, many retired, some still working full-time. We attract all ages 50 and up, mostly residents of the city of Portland, but some driving from as far as an hour away. At least one of us is working on a doctorate, several are retired educators, business leaders, health care professionals. Some of us are parents, several are not. All of us took a risk to who up and make new friends.”

According to Heather, the conversations always vary. “There’s no requirement that you share anything, but we’ve quickly become a community that shows up for each other. We have nametags now and Google docs to share bios and other events we hope to attend. The only cost is what we purchase each month at the coffeehouse, and I spend a little on flyers and Instagram ads.”

The pandemic proved to be a major factor in increasing loneliness, but as Heather notes, “Even without a pandemic in our immediate past, this is a challenging world and still very much a couples’ world. Third Thursday is about rebuilding social connection, one cup at a time. Pull up a chair and join us.”

Brunswick resident Nan March attended a Third Thursday event with a friend in New Gloucester and came away thinking that such a program might work in the greater Brunswick area. Heather enthusiastically agreed. Nan plans to begin publicizing the idea to determine the receptivity to a similar program in this area.

As Nan says, “As we get older, we lose friends and it’s harder to meet kindred spirits and make new friends.”

As many readers know, Maine is the state with the oldest population. Moreover, thousands of older Mainers live alone in social isolation. Clearly, programs such as Third Thursday have helped foster human connection. Kudos to Heather Kenvin and Nan March for devoting their energy to a most worthy venture.

For further information on Third Thursday or to get added to mailing lists, please contact Heather Kenvin at clarktrail2020@gmail.com or Nan March at nanmarch43@gmail.com.

David Treadwell, a Brunswick writer, welcomes commentary and suggestions for future “Just a Little Old” columns at dtreaadw575@aol.com.