Names change all the time.

Some women still add their husband’s name, once married. Nicknames are added. John James becomes JJ. Nicknames are removed. Sissy becomes Maria. As we age, we may become Mom and Dad, or Granny and Papa. JD Vance has changed his name at least four times (James Donald Bowman, James David Bowman, James David Hamel, J.D. Hamel and now JD Vance).

Lake Michigan becomes Lake Illinois (suggested by Illinois Gov. JB Pritzker). Greenland becomes Red, White and Blueland (by Georgia GOP Rep. Buddy Carter). Florida becomes MoonPieLand (Yup, that’s proposed by a cookie company). The Gulf of Mexico becomes the Gulf of America.

I have a suggestion for renaming Maine. I tried some others before landing on one: Southeastern Canada, TheWayLifeShouldBe, LumberTatersandLobster or TouristTrap, but none of those seemed to work. Then it came to me: “Leaveustheheckalone.” Sure it’s long, but only two letters longer than Mooselookmeguntic, Maine’s longest place name.

The name change would make it pretty clear as to the meaning and intent. I’m sure there are many other appropriate names that would fit our fair state. I’m thinking we can all just call our towns and counties whatever each of us wants because it apparently doesn’t take any kind of consensus, legislation or common sense to make a name change.

Freeport could become Beanport. Bangor could become SKingville (and that solves the tourists’ mispronunciation of Banger). Just think of the possibilities. Once we get Google Maps to agree, we’re golden.

Lois Kilby-Chesley
Durham