Hi, my name is Amber-Jean and I am a planner. I am also a cancer survivor.

First, you must understand how integrally woven being in control is to my core. I pride myself on analyzing every possible outcome for each scenario so that I can be the most prepared for every combination imaginable. (Yes, that is exhausting.)

In the fall of 2020, I was balancing three kids, two bonus boys, a relationship, friendships and a career as CEO of a specialty food company. Everyone was looking to me to keep things moving in the right direction. When I suddenly received a breast cancer diagnosis, it was a shock that threatened the carefully crafted order of my life, and my life itself.

My first appointment at New England Cancer Specialists with Dr. Battelli was heartening. She assured me that even though I was the sick one, I had a voice in our next steps. She promised I could help in the planning, which gave me the calm I needed to process our conversation about treatment regimen and schedule.

No time for cancer

Of course, this level of participation meant that I consulted my paper planner, which is color-coded for family schedules. There was travel hockey, choir and basketball pre-season, which overlapped with soccer playoffs. I also had digital calendars and apps to be sure I didn’t miss anything. I shared my work schedule with dozens of people, marking my time “unavailable” as they needed me for meetings, audits and trainings.

It turned out, I didn’t really have time for cancer. 

So, I did what any other fully booked, overwhelmed, pandemic-exhausted woman would do: I negotiated. “If I can have surgery AFTER our biggest shipping day of the year, but BEFORE the two January family birthdays, that would be great!”

I almost got away with it, but an unexpected test result derailed my plan. The “simple” surgery turned into a full treatment plan to eliminate the cancer that now showed to be aggressive and in my lymph nodes. If I didn’t have time for surgery, I certainly didn’t have time for this new regimen.

A predictable rhythm

Thankfully, my NECS team predicted my reaction, and we worked together on a revised plan that gave me control while letting them have the time they needed to save my life. We planned chemo on days after my team meetings. I drove kids to school, planned bloodwork at a lab much closer to my office and napped when necessary. A predictable rhythm emerged, and it satisfied my need to control what otherwise felt like constant spinning.

When I looked in the mirror, it was hard to believe the reflection was me. My skin, hair, body and voice seemed to change. The only thing I had on my own terms was my schedule; it was the one thing I clung to for my identity. I was still a mom and a CEO, and the life that I was fighting to save was still waiting for me.

Sometimes I hear women talk about how they despised going to their appointments. Their doctor barely knew their name, and they were pressured to put their life on hold so they could be flexible for any appointment, or else their treatment would not be possible. That scenario is unrelatable to me and truly the furthest thing from my experience.

Forever grateful

Now that I am on the other side, I can see why I was able to get through “it” as well as I did. NECS knew my strength came from my planner: Being present at those games, meetings and dates. Seeing my kiddos win (or lose) and watching my work team break sales and shipping records. Walking hand-in-hand to a dinner date, confident enough to show my bald head proudly. Those were the moments that I needed scheduled, the moments I needed for my mental health.

I will be forever grateful that NECS took the time to know me, while making space for my input in my treatment plan. I was still Amber-Jean, not just a number. And that will always be a blessing and the reason I am able to (once again) live my over-scheduled but spectacular life!