“To my children. Romance fails us and so do friendships but the relationships of Mother and Child remains indelible and indestructible—the strongest bond upon this earth.”  Theodore Reik        

There are so many things to think about in this world. I don’t want to be morbid. One thing that I am going to mention in this column is loss and grieving because there is so much sadness and sorrow.  I am learning this happens more as we age. For months, every week one or two friends have passed away. Every week we have a conversation with someone who is walking the mourner’s path.  Personal loss forces open the door into the deep parts of the soul.

So many are grieving. Grieving entails not only mourning for the person lost but also hopes, dreams, wishes, and needs you had for and with that person. The loss brings pain, emptiness, separation from your loved one and anguish.

We can reach out and give support to neighbors and friends when we learn they have lost a loved one to death. I remember when Alex, my late husband, said, “I cannot go anymore.”

Does anyone ever completely get over the death of a loved one? I don’t think so.  Loss often brings pain that cannot be ignored. Death is the “father of all losses” that demands to be reckoned with. No one wants to deal with loneliness, insecurity, vulnerability and sadness that loss causes. No matter what the relationship the separation is painfully agonizing

Each person’s loss and suffering has its own quality. We don’t know or understand the depth of the loss one is struggling with. But everyone will suffer with some kind of loss.

How does loss affect us? What is grief? I make no pretense that I have special knowledge about   death and grieving.  The dying leave without telling us they going. There is no right way to grieve there is just your way.

I became acquainted with the loss of a loved to death at the age of 13. My mother was killed in an automobile accident and was taken to the hospital. We were waiting at home for her. I called to inquire about her, the voice on the phone said “she is dead.”

It is painful to not be able to say “my mom” or “mother” or “grammy.” Through the happy times and difficult times I am sadly aware of not having her to share things with and not knowing her.  Everyone needs a mother’s love. There is little question that the issues surrounding death and grieving are receiving strong attention in America.

For any woman who has lost a mother and who has looked for comfort and understanding “Motherless Daughters” by Hope Edelman is a powerful book of experience and insight. Hope Edelman lost her mother at the age of 17.

This brave and moving book interweaves Hope’s own story with those of the hundreds of women who have contacted her. In their own words they express how growing up without a mother continues to affect them in so many ways. The bond between mothers and daughters is special. It grows with the years. Loss always hovers in our awareness.

To be a motherless daughter is to know the grit of survival. You hold a maturity at a young age. I remember my mom as wearing hats. She always tipped them. I wear tipped hats because it removes the ache of longing. Mom was 35 when she got killed in 1943.

When I started this column today, I did not plan to go here. But I did.

Wishing all who are grieving strength for your heart your mind, your spirit and your healing.