Rafe, a tricky peddler, was hired to help greedy, vain Princess Adeline improve her image.  She’d never been popular, but her idea to ask people in the Kingdom for suggestions resulted in most people saying she should give up being a princess. A few others were more clever and suggested she take a very long trip to distant countries.

Because Rafe managed to sell ordinary coconuts to people by saying they were magic eggs, the court Steward decided he was the best person to convince the populace that Princess Adeline was a benevolent, kind leader. Rafe arranged for her to kiss babies, which failed miserably. He had banners with her portrait hung all over the Kingdom.  Within a week, all were defaced. Rafe needed another idea.

One morning he showed up at the castle with a brass band.  “What you need is a special song,” he said to Princess Adeline.  “Listen.”

Addie, Addie, Princess fine,

You’re as sweet as Frankenstein.

Smarter than a porcupine,

We love you our Adeline!

“I’m not sure I like the rhymes,” complained the Princess.

“Picky, picky,” said Rafe. “Not much rhymes with Adeline.”

The first time the song was played in public, the Royal Order of the Porcupines complained that the song put porcupines in a bad light. After a brief court battle, the jury agreed and the song was banned.

A month had almost passed and it would soon be time to once again open the suggestion box.  So far, nothing Rafe tried had worked. Princess Adeline was angry. “If I don’t see results when I open that suggestion box, you’re fired!”

Rafe realized there wasn’t much he could do to make the people in the Kingdom like Princess Adeline. She was mean, self-centered and greedy. Banners with her portrait, patriotic songs and having her kiss babies was never going to change that.  Rafe tossed and turned all night, certain he was going to lose his job.

As he drifted off to sleep, he suddenly awoke with an idea. He slapped his head. “Why didn’t I think of that from the start?” Rafe knew exactly what he needed to do.

In the morning, he strolled through the market. Stopping to buy a few mangoes, he chatted with the fruit vendor. “Oh, the Princess can be a bit difficult, but she pays me well,” he remarked. He lowered his voice. “I wouldn’t tell anyone but you, and I know you won’t tell anyone, but she’s building a mansion for me in the mountains.”

At the fishmonger’s stall he said the Princess paid him in gold every week and mentioned the amount. The fishmonger’s eyes widened and he gasped. “Oh, dear,” Rafe said. “I see I’ve shocked you. Please don’t tell anyone. People might be upset.”

Buying rice, Rafe paid the woman weighing it five times the price she asked. “Keep the change,” he said. “I can afford it. The Princess pays me so much, I don’t know what to do with all the money.” Then he added, “But please, don’t tell anyone.  I wouldn’t want anyone fearing their taxes might rise just because of me.”

Just as Rafe suspected, the market was soon abuzz with gossip about his excessive salary and his worthless job trying to make the Princess look good.

Later that week, the Steward opened the suggestion box. Princess Adeline smiled as she read the slips of paper. Seven hundred twenty-two said she should fire Rafe, one said she should step down, and one suggested she might enjoy collecting edible mushrooms and enclosed a book.

“Only one complaint about me!” said the Princess. “You have really turned things around!”

“Of course I did,” said Rafe. “As long as I’m here, I guarantee you’ll be more popular than ever.”