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DEAR HARRIETTE: My landlord lives in the apartment below me in a three-family home. It was my boyfriend’s birthday recently, and I hosted the celebration, with 15 people. This was on a Friday evening, and we were all wrapped up by 11 p.m. On Saturday, I got a knock on my door and learned my landlord was mad at me for having people over. He told me he doesn’t condone “huge house parties,” and that I kept him up. My rent isn’t cheap, and I don’t think I did anything wrong by having people over once for a celebration. I want to stand up for myself because I think my landlord is accusing me of being a bad tenant because I am young and hosted one small celebration. – Last Friday Night, Dallas

DEAR LAST FRIDAY NIGHT: Rather than getting into an argument with your landlord, you can apologize for any disturbance your celebration may have caused him. Then point out that you rarely entertain. This was a special occasion, and it wasn’t a large group.

In the future, let your landlord know in advance if you are hosting a party. Honestly, whenever you can, it is wise to invite the neighbors to parties because that cuts down on them being annoyed by whatever disturbance the event may cause. Obviously, it would not be appropriate to have your landlord come to your boyfriend’s dinner party. But possibly inviting him over for a toast before the evening began might have softened him up.

Everybody lives on a different schedule. Your 11 p.m. Friday evening ending time seemed respectful to you. Obviously, it was annoying to him. You will need to work together toward a middle ground in the future. Giving him the heads-up is a great start.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I mentioned to my dad how I lend my car to friends pretty frequently. He got so upset with me, I was completely taken aback. He yelled at me about insurance and liabilities.

I trust my friends, and I don’t see why I shouldn’t lend out my car. They all have clean driving records and don’t have cars of their own. I never lend it out for huge road trips, just for a trip to a grocery store or for one night. Is this a generational difference, or could I possibly be as reckless as my father thinks I am? – Take the Wheel, Fort Lauderdale, Florida

DEAR TAKE THE WHEEL: This time, I think your father is right. Even though your friends have clean driving records, what would you or they do if they got into an accident? Your insurance would go up for sure. Would they be able to pay for damages?

Check your insurance policy. Does it allow for drivers who are not related to you? What type of coverage do you pay for? You need to be crystal clear about how you are protected and how they are protected. Finally, if you do let them continue to drive your car, you need to make clear agreements with them about what they pay for if they ever do get into an accident.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.


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