DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a pastor of a small church, and we are currently renting space at our local theater complex. Our plan is to purchase a building of our own in the future. In the meantime, my parishioners would like to incorporate a community outreach program while we are looking for a new home. I am having a hard time trying to find a happy medium between raising money for our new location and creating a presence in the community. What is the best way I can use the church funds to address these pressing issues simultaneously? – Good Shepherd, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR GOOD SHEPHERD: Actually, your two goals – fundraising for your new home and engaging the community in an uplifting outreach program – should go together quite naturally. Building positive awareness in your community should help you connect with the movers and shakers as well as the mainstays in your neighborhood. If these people grow to like and respect you and your congregation, they will want you to stay. They may end up being key in your capital campaign.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I lost my father when I was 17 years old because of a drunk driver. Now, as a mother of two children, I want my children to appreciate their father in a way I feel like I didn’t have the chance to. I have been thinking about ideas of how to make my children more appreciative, but it seems like they aren’t even interested. – Practice Gratitude, Dallas

DEAR PRACTICE GRATITUDE: Children learn by example. While you are inspired by the loss of your father, you need to find a source of inspiration for them with their own father. Think about what they do together that they enjoy. How does your husband bring joy to the children’s lives? What do they enjoy together that they would like to continue? By tapping into what connects them naturally, you create space for their bond to flourish.

Do not just leave this to the children. Talk to your husband about your idea. Let him know its origin – you missing this opportunity with your own father. Invite your husband to work with you to create special moments with the children. By engaging him, he becomes an active participant in building even better memories than may already be underway.

Don’t go overboard in your zeal, though. Allow the family to enjoy each other in little and big ways. When you are around, take pictures of your children’s engagements with their father. Gather those photos into photo albums. Get them printed on mugs or other memorabilia. Share images of your whole family – including you – with other family members as well.

By living your lives fully and being conscious about spending time together, including with your husband, you create space for beautiful relationships to bloom.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.