DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a stay-at-home mom who just moved to a new town. In an effort to meet friends, I joined the PTA and went to a mid-summer meeting of the mothers. I was greeted by a friendly woman who took me under her wing. We went out to lunch the next day, and she was incredibly charming. Today, I got a text from one of the other mothers that said that “Christy” has hurt all of them and has no friends. That’s why she was so immediately drawn to me. I was told to watch out. I think I befriended the wrong mom at the PTA meeting. I just want to make friends, but I feel like I was thrown into a soap opera! How do I untangle this mess and make friends? – New Kid on the Block, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR NEW KID ON THE BLOCK: Proceed with caution. This includes taking your time getting to know everyone. You do not need to sever ties with Christy. Instead, slow down. You can continue to get to know her, but make time to meet the other mothers as well. You can connect with mothers oneon one by your invitation and as they invite you to do things with them. Listen to what they have to say about Christy – up to a point. You can also state clearly that she has been kind to you, and you appreciate that. Be your own gauge for whether you develop a friendship with her. Just know that if you do, that bond may have to exist outside of other friend groups that you cultivate.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I strongly believe one shouldn’t drink alcohol to get drunk. I think drinking to the point of intoxication is immature, and you aren’t respecting and savoring alcohol. I brew my own beer and have experimented with making my own hard liquor. I told my work friends about my views, and they made fun of me. They poke fun at me still, and I don’t get invited out to happy hour anymore. What gives? I thought we were all mature adults. – Connoisseur, Denver

DEAR CONNOISSEUR: Your friends likely think that you are being a hypocrite, given that you produce spirits, yet shun intoxication. As you probably know, whether intentional or not, many people get inebriated, at least on occasion, if they drink alcohol.

Your thoughts about drinking too much are judgmental, even if they do make sense to you and likely a slew of other people. Your friends probably do not invite you to happy hour because they don’t want to feel that they are being judged when they want to relax and let loose. While you may all be mature adults, you have chosen to put your stake in the ground about others’ drinking habits, and that makes some people uncomfortable.

One way to attempt to turn things around is to ask if you can join the group at the next happy hour, and offer to be the designated driver. This may give the group a laugh – along with a practical way to include you in the mix. On your part, you will have to participate without sharing your opinions. Otherwise, it will backfire.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.