DEAR HARRIETTE: As a child, I was never surprised with gifts. Since age 7 or 8, my parents have checked with me to make sure I wanted the gift they were planning on buying me. Now I have a habit of always checking in with someone before buying him or her a gift. I don’t know if they already own it or even want it!

I know this way of shopping for others ruins the surprise, but is practical. I’m torn on what to do. Should I continue my practical gift-giving or live a little and surprise people? – No Surprises Here, Westchester, New York

DEAR NO SURPRISES HERE: Here’s a question: Do your friends ultimately appreciate the gifts that you give them? If so, you may end up being like your parents, the practical giver. Find out how your friends experience your gifts. If they truly do not like receiving practical gifts from you, you may consider stretching a bit. Imagine what you think they might prefer. Think about their lives and interests. If you could choose anything – within your budget – to give them, what would it be? Consider buying that thing and getting a gift receipt so they can return it. In this way, you experience the best of both worlds, the practicality of the recipient easily being able to return it, and the surprise of them not knowing what you got them before they open it.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: This summer has been killer. The heat is so high, and I feel like I’m doing my best to go from one air-conditioned building to the next. My attempts to stay cool sometimes fail, and I arrive to lunch or someone’s home clearly perspiring. Although I am obviously hot, some people still try to hug me! I find this gross and uncomfortable for everyone around. How can I go about declining hugs in the sweaty heat? – Sweltering Heat, Atlanta

DEAR SWELTERING HEAT: Stay on the offensive. I do believe people will appreciate it! Here’s an example: I visited with a friend recently, and it was super hot at her house, simply because of the stifling humidity outside. When it was time to say goodbye, I told her that I did not want to hug yet, as I was literally sweating, and I thought it would be gross. We had the luxury of sitting in an air-conditioned room for a bit before I exited. When the second moment for a hug came, I agreed to offer it tentatively.

The point is to say it upfront. Tell your friend or colleague, “Hey, it’s too hot to hug! I care about you too much to sweat on you!” Take the direct approach – most people will appreciate it. Even when it comes to shaking hands, have a handkerchief or some other cloth handy so that you can wipe off your hand and avoid offering a wet palm to shake. Trust that anyone you encounter will appreciate your candor and effort.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.