DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister, “Eve,” is a talented stylist in Los Angeles. I am so proud of her for her success in being able to break into the industry. However, I think her paycheck has gone to her head. Recently, she has been sharing her opinion on what practically every member of the family wears. We do not all live in cities and don’t see the need to get dolled up to send Eve a picture of what we’re up to.

Eve has talent as a stylist and says that she shares her opinion about our clothes because her opinion is valued in the industry. I understand Eve is good at her job, but I don’t care that she doesn’t like my church dresses! I responded to one of her “critiques” by telling her that I don’t care about her opinion, and she told me that I should be grateful I got it for free.

How do I get Eve to hush up about her fashion knowledge? Her opinion isn’t always needed – or wanted. – Plain Jane vs. Fashionable Eve, Milwaukee

DEAR PLAIN JANE VS. FASHIONABLE EVE: Tell Eve how happy you are for her and her success, but suggest that she needs to stop bullying the family with her industry insights. Remind her that you lead very different lives than she does and that your needs do not match hers. Tell her to quit critiquing the family’s wardrobe. Do your part by not sending her photos any more. If she asks why, tell her you are tired of her fashion commentary.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother has the most annoying habit of surprise-forcing me to talk on the phone with relatives. I say “surprise” because I don’t know to whom she is speaking, and then she’ll turn around and say, “Oh, John is here! I’ll put him on the phone!” This leads to me having to ask who I’m talking to. It’s incredibly awkward. To add to this, I also don’t speak my family’s native language well, and I find myself at a loss for words – literally – when thinking of open-ended questions to ask them. Are there any polite ways to ask to whom you are speaking? Additionally, what are some basic open-ended questions that I can ask so I don’t have to embarrass myself in a language I can barely speak? – Broken Telephone, Atlanta

DEAR BROKEN TELEPHONE: Start by having a chat with your mother when she’s not on the phone. Tell her that you do not appreciate her shoving the phone at you without warning or information. Remind her that you do not speak the language well, and ask that she not put you on the spot like that. Ask her to tell you who is on the phone before you start speaking. Ask her for topics to discuss with these relatives. Your mother is the best person to give you telephone pointers, as she knows them and the language. In general, you don’t have to say much. Ask how the person is doing and how the family is, and then listen.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.