DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife passed of a terminal illness six years ago. I was married to her for 15 years, and she was the love of my life. Our son is 14 years old and has fond memories of his mother, as well as remembering her final months.

I have dipped my toe into the pool of dating and found a woman whose company I truly enjoy. She is around my age, is very educated and has lived an interesting life. She has no children. I brought up the idea of bringing her around to meet my son, and she is willing to do so. When I told my son later that night, it ended with him screaming at me and slamming doors – disastrous to say the least. My son refuses to meet my new girlfriend. Should I surprise him when he comes home after school? I feel like once he meets her, he’ll see how great she is. – Merging Sides, Boston

DEAR MERGING SIDES: You definitely should not surprise your son with your girlfriend when he comes home from school. That could make him feel unsafe in his own home. Instead, take your time. Talk to your son about dating, in general, so that you can learn his thoughts for himself and for you. He is at the age where he may be thinking about girls, which could only more strongly conflict with the notion of seeing you date.

Tell him little things about your girlfriend so that he becomes familiar with her through your stories. Let him know why you would like for them to meet. Over time, you can win him over.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a bit of a stickler regarding the English language. It was my major in college, and my passion for the language continues to grow through reading and studying. I have a friend who mispronounces words frequently. English is not his second language – he is simply lazy about learning the proper pronunciation.

I would never correct someone who was just learning to speak a new language, but I have no excuse not to correct him. I do not reprimand him; I simply pronounce the word he was attempting to say. He will either roll his eyes or just ignore me. I feel as though I am being helpful. Many others would just silently judge whereas I am making an effort to fix his pronunciation issues. At a larger dinner recently, I was called “rude” for correcting my friend on his pronunciation. Should I still keep correcting? I believe I am helping him, but not everyone sees it this way. –Stickler, St. Louis

DEAR STICKLER: Stop being the grammar police, particularly in public. You actually were breaking the basic rules of etiquette by correcting your friend at that large dinner.

I tell you this as one who cringes when I hear grammatical errors. I, too, offer corrections here and there to people I love and to those I believe will listen. Actually, people who speak English as a second language will likely appreciate the corrections more than native English speakers. The point is to offer constructive criticism strategically and only to those who welcome it. Otherwise, keep your edits to yourself.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.