We all know women who are in love with Home Depot. As soon as the automated entrance doors swing open, welcoming them with open displays of the newest in paint rollers and sanders, these women are home. That’s because they have vision – the ability to imagine what a kitchen or bedroom or bathroom makeover could look like. With little to no effort they discover the perfect paint, the ideal flooring and most complementary countertop.

I am not among this elite crew.

It would be extremely rare for a trip to the big box hardware store to make me giddy with excitement. Spouse occasionally drags me there with the same lie every time – “I just have a few things to pick up…” An hour later I’m drained from standing on the cement floors, bored out of my mind after following him around all 72 aisles, and I’ve had to use the restroom. Twice. Our shopping experience last weekend was different. I got to actually shop. Well, pre-shop. We’ll be doing the purchasing very soon for our bathroom revamping. It’s not a complete makeover – mainly a tub surround and new flooring in the one and only bathroom in this house – but it’s close enough for me to not be clinging to the exit door begging to leave.

I came home with counter and flooring samples. Paint chips will be next. I admit that matching flooring, paint and counters (the counters are just wishful thinking – a kitchen remodel is a distant dream) doesn’t come easily to me. This is why I believe such items should have some type of code for helpless home- owners such as myself. Have you ever dressed your kids in Garanimals? I loved buying them for my girls. I didn’t have to be a genius to match the giraffe shirt to the giraffe shorts for my toddlers. Those cute little animal pictures made it look like I had the eye of a designer, or at least a style-savvy mom.

That’s why I keep hoping some company would come up with this same guide for decorating my house. I’d happily hunt for the best bison paint to go with the bison flooring I chose without embarrassment. I can’t be the only one who is not naturally gifted in the decorating department.

A couple of months ago, Spouse and I stopped by a custom design kitchen and bath business. We didn’t plan to blow a boatload of money on this simple project, but we still wanted to get an idea of what was available outside of the box stores. In the nearly 10 minutes we were there, nobody appeared to answer any of our questions.

Maybe the salesman (we eventually hunted him down – he still made no effort to help) heard our noncommittal conversation from his hiding place. Perhaps he decided we weren’t serious shoppers when Spouse turned on one of the working showers and couldn’t figure out how to turn it off immediately. The lack of attention was enough to send us to the exit door. It was just as well – one tub surround from this place would have cost as much as the whole bathroom makeover.

Right now, I’m simply enjoying the fact that going to Home Depot isn’t the painful experience it has often been for me. Even without vision, I’m finding it a fun experience to peruse through bathtub faucets and showerheads. The floor doesn’t feel quite as hard on my feet when I’m walking through miles of aisles with purpose. I’m perfectly happy having access to the many choices at the big box store. Even without matching bison. — Janine Talbot lives in Saco with her husband Chuck and their dog and cats. Contact her at janinevtalbot@gmail.com.