DEAR HARRIETTE: My estranged wife has insisted that we need couple’s therapy. I find this so ridiculous, since we are on the path to getting divorced. There’s nothing to fix! Our marriage is essentially over. My wife thinks we need this so we can raise our kids better. I think she’s just trying to get me into a room with a therapist so they can both tell me how I failed the marriage. I would never normally agree to couple’s therapy, but I worry that if I don’t go, she’ll have a better chance of having custody of our children. Do I go into this therapy trap? – Barely My Wife, Pittsburgh

DEAR BARELY MY WIFE: Because you two have children, therapy is actually a great idea. You must figure out how to parent your children as a team, even though you don’t live together. Let your wife know that you agree – with the understanding that you will determine how to navigate the children between households as well as the basics on what your values are. Talk with the therapist about how to come to agreements when you experience friction.

If you feel that your wife and the therapist are ganging up on you, stop them and ask if you can agree to work on how to handle the children moving forward rather than rehashing what led to the breakup. It is OK for you to set clear goals in therapy.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: Two of my friends are high school sweethearts … sort of. They have been an on-again, off again couple for about eight years. They began dating in high school, but in no way has their timeline been stable. I have been a listening ear to both of them as we all went through growing pains, and I managed to stay impartial, even during some of their most explosive fights.

I met a girl I really like, and we have been dating for a little under a year now. I fear that the high school “sweethearts” are creating a toxic element in our relationship because of how vicious they get when they fight – and they bring us into it. I don’t want to burn any bridges, but I need to draw up new boundaries without losing our friendship. How can I start this transition to preserve my sanity and budding relationship? – Love Bites, Dallas

DEAR LOVE BITES: My mother used to remind my sisters and me all the time about the importance of keeping good company. Your longtime friends may not be such good company if there is constant fighting when you are with them. It may be time to choose your mental health and your relationship over their roller coaster romance.

Out of respect for them, tell them where you are. Explain that while you have attempted to stay neutral and present through their rocky relationship, it is wearing on you and your own relationship. So you are pulling back. You don’t have to cut them off entirely – unless that is your choice. You definitely do not have to include them on dates with your girlfriend.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.