DEAR HARRIETTE: I baby-sit for the child next door, and he seems to be growing up quickly. This little boy, “Jake,” curses like a sailor! Jake is 6 years old. I am not sure if it is his parents who use this type of language around him, or if he picks it up in school. As soon as his parents leave, he speaks in a slew of four-letter words. Jake even asks me what these words mean. I pretend not to know them, but he says, “all grown-ups know what they mean.”

I feel like I’m in over my head. I’m not going to tell Jake the meaning of the bad words, but confronting his parents makes it seem like they’ve raised a rowdy child. Should I just hope this passes over? I would feel pretty embarrassed around my neighbors if they thought I was accusing them of teaching their young son these words. – No Potty Mouth, Dallas

DEAR NO POTTY MOUTH: For starters, you can point out to Jake that he knows those words should not be used. Without explaining their exact meanings, you can tell him that they are rude and mean and can be hurtful when spoken. Tell him that people often say them when they are angry or upset, and point out that there are better words to use at those times. Have fun with him and make up a funny word or phrase that he can use when feeling upset, like “fiddlesticks” or “bumblehead” or anything silly.

Also speak to his parents. It is your duty as his baby sitter to report to them that he has been experimenting with profanity. Tell them you don’t know the source, but you thought they should know. You can also tell them whatever word you two made up as a replacement.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like a complete failure. I have been trying to push myself at work and accidentally ended up missing my niece’s baptism. I overcommitted to work, and the event slipped through the cracks. By the time I was notified of the event, I was at work, and my family was at the church. I apologized, but my sister wasn’t having it. She accused me of being obsessed with money and work! What can I do to make it up to my family? I feel bad I missed my niece’s baptism because I overscheduled myself, but it’s not like the baby will remember! – Scheduling Issues, St. Croix, United States Virgin Islands

DEAR SCHEDULING ISSUES: Beyond apologizing, you can redeem yourself by carving out time regularly to get to know your niece. What she and your sister will remember over time is how often you have been present in her life. Unless your sister is prone to holding grudges, she should be able to see your sincere commitment to your niece as she grows up. So take a breath, evaluate your schedule and make a realistic plan that takes care of you first, your work and your family.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.