DEAR HARRIETTE: After years of studying, my daughter got into Yale University. Her mother and I are so proud of her, and we are ecstatic that she has been accepted into a school of this caliber. As my daughter was crying out of happiness of her acceptance, I was wondering how we’d be able to afford this. I don’t think my daughter has considered the financial stress an Ivy League school will put on our family. She automatically assumed she is going because she got in. I am a college professor at a state university, and my wife is a historian. We know what our daughter’s dream is, and it’s really up to us to figure out a way to pay for this or tell her she has to go to a less expensive school. My daughter attending Yale would put my family in debt, but I want her to experience her dream school. Neither my wife nor I attended university in the United States. Should we buckle down and let my daughter go to Yale and leave us with the tuition fees? – Conflicted Father, Miami DEAR CONFLICTED FATHER: The biggest mistake you and your wife have made is not managing your daughter’s expectations from the start. Nobody thought

it through or did the math in advance. Of course your daughter believes she is going to Yale; you never told her she couldn’t. It is time to be completely honest with her as you work together to find out if there is any financial aid or scholarship money available to help defray the high cost of this great school. They do have a healthy endowment, so you may be able to secure the financial support you need. Do the research together so that your daughter knows you want her to live out her dream if you can figure out how to pay for it. • • • DEAR HARRIETTE: I was at dinner in a nice restaurant when the couple sitting at the table next to us began to snap multiple pictures of themselves and their food for every course. They were tourists and did not speak much English. I would not have a problem with a few photos to commemorate a dinner, but each appetizer, entree and drink came with a photo shoot – utilizing flash in the generally dimly lit area. It was so distracting; luckily, my date and I turned it into a humorous situation, pretending we were being hounded by paparazzi. Afterward, we

discussed if the restaurant should have said something to the couple. I am not one for too much confrontation, so I said it would be our responsibility to ask the couple to stop being so distracting. My date thought a manager or waiter should have asked them to stop after the 30th photograph without being prompted by customers. Do restaurants or patrons have the responsibility to put a stop to poor restaurant etiquette like this? – Dine and Flash, Boston DEAR DINE AND FLASH: It is the responsibility of the restaurant to ensure that all of its guests are comfortable. In the age of social media and instant posting, this can be a huge challenge. You should have alerted the maitre d’ or waiter and asked them to ask the couple to turn off the flash or stop because the ongoing flashing was disturbing other guests.