I guess it’s time to bring out that little crystal ball and see what is going to happen during 2016. The problem I have is my crystal ball is getting somewhat old and increasingly difficult to see what it might be forecasting for our future. If that is not bad enough, it has a few cracks that happened when I dropped it in the past. Luckily I am not influenced by Facebook and similar things because I disconnected my crystal ball from the Internet. After watching the New England Patriots fall apart once again, I am not sure if I really want to gaze into the crystal ball anymore.

First I predict that the Windham town councilors will become millionaires during 2016. I might be off a couple of hundred of thousand or so but I noticed that they have five scheduled meetings during January. If they keep this pace up and maybe slip in a cost of living increase so that they receive more than the $35 a meeting they can receive at the present, it might take a while. The problem is not all councilors will achieve the status of a millionaire because some have an attendance problem and I’ll leave it there.

Next I predict that many towns in Cumberland County will discover that the Cumberland County Civic Center is the biggest scam that ever happened in the county and will give up any connections to it. It will be renamed the Ethan Strimling Community Center and will feature Bernie Sanders as a lifetime speaker. The city of Portland will double its storm runoff fee so citizens can go there for free. Concert events will be paid for by instituting a fee that Portland restaurants must pay for each table they have.

I probably should predict that Portland will also institute permits for any location that a panhandler can stand and collect money. This is, of course, so that the loss of income taxes on their income can be made up in some manner. In order to collect even more money, toll gates will be installed at every location in order to maximize collections. Gov. LePage will object until he realizes that the toll gate collecting the largest fees will be named after him. LePage and Mayor Strimling are eventually caught having drinks together at Bubba’s Sulky Lounge and the rumors begin that they are, in fact, really political allies.

The Maine Legislature again gives even more tax relief to the residents of Maine. Unfortunately the taxpayers don’t understand the definition of tax relief by their legislators. After several months they finally realize the only thing that they have been relieved of is even more of their hard-earned money.

An attempt to bring back tar and feathering fails but a movement to put the face of every elected official in Maine on the front page of Mad Magazine is successful, thus ensuring the financial future of that magazine for eternity.

Before moving on the national level, I must predict that Windham and towns of a similar size finally realize that an elected mayor is a better form of local government than having a Town Manager/Town Council government. This suits Bernie Sanders so much so that he quits his presidential run and moves to Windham. Windham not only has legalized fireworks, now marijuana is free for all as well. Unfortunately Windham citizens have forgotten the problems with the old gunpowder mill in South Windham and the rotary at Foster’s Corner disappears. Citizens erect statues of Cheech and Chong instead.

Finally, President Obama bans guns for all Americans except for his government bodyguards and criminals he can’t control, including those in Chicago. Those of us who served our nation and swore to protect the Constitution of the United States weep.

Lane Hiltunen of Windham also predicts Democrats in the Maine Legislature will impeach Gov. LePage in 2016.