DEAR HARRIETTE: I was at a party recently with my friend Brad. At one point in the night, Brad burst into tears. It turns out he was crying about his father, who had passed away when he was a teenager. We are in our early 20s now, and I’m not sure if it was alcohol or lack of closure that caused this outburst. Brad left the party, and I have not spoken to him since. I simply do not know what to say because I have never dealt with the death of a parent. I feel as though suggesting counseling would be very forward, but so would implying that he has a problem with alcohol. Everyone is allowed to cry and grieve; I just don’t know how to be of comfort to him because I am in uncharted territory. How should I break the ice? – New Terrain, Detroit

DEAR NEW TERRAIN: You can reach out to Brad without getting into his business at all. Since you two are friends, just call him to say hello. If you often hang out, invite him to join you at a gathering of friends. Since you believe he has a drinking problem, try to pick an activity that does not include alcohol.

If Brad brings up his tears and grief about his father, express your sympathy that he lost his father and continues to grieve for him. Make it clear that you do not know how to support him because you have never experienced such a tragedy. Let him know that you want to be as helpful as you can. You can suggest that he see a therapist who may be able to help him sort through his feelings.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I have reason to believe that my neighbor has anger issues. OK, I know that sounds strong, but the things that I see her doing are really disturbing. She seems to fly off the handle without cause. Like when I saw her at a small party I hosted, she started yelling at one of my guests out of nowhere. Then another time I saw her standing outside her house, and she was screaming at the mailman. He looked shocked and gave her the mail and walked away. She seems to yell at the slightest provocation. Who knows why, but I must say that it is disturbing. I have decided not to invite her over to my house anymore, but part of me feels like she needs help. How could I possibly do that? – Estranged Neighbor, Philadelphia

DEAR ESTRANGED NEIGHBOR: Before writing her off, invite your neighbor for tea. When it is just the two of you, get to know her a bit. Listen to her as she talks about whatever is on her mind. People often reveal a lot about themselves when you just let them talk. Do not bring up her temper. If she creates an entry point in the conversation, you may gently mention that you got worried when she got so upset. Then you can ask her if she is OK. Otherwise, stop inviting her to your functions and keep your distance.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.