June 8 marked the passing of Bettsanne Holmes, a steel magnolia whose leadership evokes memories of Maine’s Sen. Margaret Chase Smith, the first woman to serve in both houses of Congress. On that same day, I lost a treasured summer neighbor, a wonderfully wise woman whose every word made good sense and every smile rang true.
Bettsanne grew up in a pre-Civil War home on the Penobscot River in Winterport, a part of the underground railroad with a basement passage to aid freed slaves on their trip to Canada. She had two older brothers, both of whom attended the University of Maine, and one younger sister.
Blessed with an adventurous spirit, Bettsanne had different ideas when it came to higher education. She wanted to go far away to college so she chose Mary Washington College, a women’s college in Virginia. One September morning in 1947, she donned white gloves and an appropriate hat and boarded a train for the long journey south. Bettsanne had never been out of Maine before, and she’d never taken a long solo trip. No matter. She was doing what she needed to do and, in truth, that’s what she did throughout her long life of service to her community, her state and her family.
Inspired by the tale of her journey to college, I asked Bettsanne if I could write about it for a magazine, perhaps an “I Remember” piece for Down East magazine. She demurred, ever so politely — and firmly. Most people I ask to profile are delighted to be in the spotlight, even though they might protest in the beginning. Not Bettsanne. But then, Bettsanne was not “most people.”
In an era when women were supposed to stay in the background, mindful of their place, Bettsanne compiled a sparkling leadership resume. She became the first non-male Chair of Maine Medical Center’s Board of Trustees, where she had volunteered for 30 years. She also chaired the boards of the Association of National Volunteer Trustees of Not-for-Profit Hospitals, in Washington, D.C.; the Maine Community AIDS Partnership; the new England Health Care Assembly, in Durham, N.H.; the Maine Hospital Association, in Augusta; the American Hospital Association’s Nova Award Selection Committee, in Chicago, ILL; and the Maine Women’s Forum of the Women’s International Forum. She also served on the boards of Blue Cross Blue Shield of Maine; People’s Heritage Bank; the United Way of Portland; and on and on and on.
Limited space precludes a full listing of all her memberships and awards. Suffice it say, Bettsanne was a real mover and shaker.
She was a reliable go-to person; put simply, she made things happen.
The question becomes, “How?” How was this modest unflashy woman able to attain such respect and achieve such prominence? I’d suggest that her strong values and deep passions led to her success. If she believed in something, she’d fight for it. If not, she wouldn’t. She didn’t threaten men, and she didn’t threaten women.
My conversation with Bettsanne’s daughters Bethany Frank and Heather Holmes Floyd revealed other interesting sides of their mother. She always conveyed confidence even though she didn’t always feel confident. She was the disciplinarian while their dad ( Herb Holmes) was much more lenient. She was a wonderful mother, always urging her daughters to challenge themselves to the fullest. She attended all their school and sporting events. “When I was in France for a semester,” recalls Heather, “she wrote a letter to me every single day.” Says Bethany, “She made a house a home; we always felt safe.”
When Bettsanne’s younger sister, then living in New Jersey, left her marriage, Bettsanne offered to have her sister and her sister’s children move in with the Holmes family in Falmouth. No hesitation. No qualms. Bettsanne was just doing what came naturally: the right thing.
According to her daughters, Bettsanne was always reading, always learning, never willing to just step back and call it a life. As she got on in years, she became a little more willing to bask in her accomplishments. Heather says, “We had a party for mom on her 80th birthday, and I can’t tell you how many women in their fifties and sixties came up to tell us that mom was their role model.”
While Bettsanne was the disciplinarian to her two daughters, she took a rather different approach to her five grandchildren. As her granddaughter Campbell Frank says, “She spoiled us rotten.”
After several decades of putting her immense talents to work in lifting her community and raising her family, Bettsanne deserved the right to go easy on her grandchildren. And I hope that, despite her modesty, she wouldn’t have minded my writing this tribute to her. Forgive me, Bettsanne, but you earned it.
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David Treadwell, a Brunswick writer, welcomes commentary or ideas for future “Just a Little Old” columns at dtreadw575@aol.com.
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