We, like so many others, have been deeply saddened by a story that is currently dominating the news — that 46 women have (so far) come forward as survivors of assault at the hands of Bill Cosby. On Monday, New York Magazine published a piece that included accounts from 35 of the 46 women — each story both depressing and disturbing.

The idea of this story, to some, is shocking. How can a person who seemed so wholesome be capable of drugging and raping women, many of whom were his friends and acquaintances?

But the very things that make his actions so astounding are what helped him allegedly commit these heinous acts.

Cosby’s family-friendly image not only inspired trust, but also may have made it difficult for women to come forward after his attacks because of how unbelievable their stories might seem to the public.

Shocking as the accounts of these women seem, their stories are not so uncommon. According to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, approximately 80 percent of sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows — and nearly half of the offenders are people the victim considered a friend or an acquaintance. In the United States, someone is sexually assaulted every 107 seconds, resulting in approximately 293,000 victims each year. That means that about 234,400 people are sexually assaulted every year by someone they know.

Looking at these numbers, it’s clear that rape is not uncommon. Yet somehow, survivors of sexual assault face a tremendous amount of blowback — and very little support — when they are brave enough to come forward with their stories and seek justice.

Sexism plays a large part. Most victims of sexual assault are women, and they face a number of unfair assumptions when they come forward with their stories. They get accused of things like “buyer’s remorse” — a pejorative term that assumes they had sex willingly but later regretted it and decided to claim they were raped — or that they are “crying rape” in order to get a quick payout.

But there are other factors that lead to the denial of survivors’ stories. Many of us don’t like to think about or talk about rape, simply because it makes us uncomfortable. When we hear stories about unspeakable things being done by people we thought were trustworthy, our reaction is often to deny that it happened because we don’t want to feel sad, or angry, or helpless.

Denial of these stories can be a form of self-preservation, but unfortunately that denial also functions to help the epidemic of sexual assault in the U.S. continue. When we choose not to support and believe rape survivors, we create a culture that makes it difficult for those survivors to come forward, and easy for rapists to rape again.

Whether the reason for denying survivors’ stories is thinly-veiled sexism or simply not wanting to think about the unthinkable, the end result is the same — rape will continue to happen. If we want to truly be rid of sexual assault, the first step is to listen to and support survivors.