Last week’s U.S. Supreme Court ruling in favor of a nationwide right to samesex marriage means that the rest of the country has finally caught up with Maine.

Same-sex marriage became legal in Maine on Dec. 29, 2012, following a statewide referendum earlier that year.

Former Lisbon Town Councilor Lisa Ward recalled getting married to her longtime partner of 13 years, Mel, on Dec. 31, 2012, on the first day the town clerk’s office was open after samesex marriage became legal in the state.

“Mel and I had decided quite a while before (that) we were going to get married, but decided we were not going to get married unless it was in our home state,” Ward said on Wednesday. “We were holding out.”

To marry on New Year’s Eve was an added bonus, she said.

“We were really excited,” Ward said. “I mean, it was a lot of buildup.”

The couple had planned to marry outside under some beautiful snow-covered trees, Ward recalled, but it was just too cold. Instead they were married in council chambers in front of a Christmas tree completely festooned with pink decorations in honor of breast cancer survivors while her sister and her sister’s partner, a couple close friends and town employees looked on.

After the ceremony, the wedding party went to a local diner, Ward remembers, and after about an hour Town Clerk Twila Lycette rushed through the door with a fresh marriage certificate for the newlyweds because she’d found a mistake in the certificate that was issued.

Lycette occasionally performs weddings at the town office and, since then, has been asked to marry some same-sex couples too.

“For me, you can tell that the two people before you are committed to each other and, to me, I don’t see a difference,” she said, between marrying a straight or gay couple.

Every couple she marries is genuinely in love and she said it is an honor to marry them all.

Brunswick’s town office was open on the Saturday the law went into effect and on that date, Town Clerk Fran Smith said, records show they issued seven marriage licenses to samesex couples — some who had officiants in tow and were married in Town Hall.

Smith remembers there was news media there that day covering the benchmark events.

“ We were busy doing marriage licenses,” Smith said, so staff didn’t get to watch the ceremonies.

The marriage license forms that had listed “bride” and “groom” had been appropriately modified.

“We were just doing our job,” Smith said, describing the day, providing a service to people who were provided that right under the law.

“There’s no difference in our minds,” said Smith, as to whether couples applying for licenses are straight or gay.

What’s in a name?

Ward has also reflected on two years of marriage, and noted it took a while to get used to saying, “This is my wife, Mel.”

Before her ceremony she had a conversation with a friend who felt gay marriage was against his religion and didn’t feel it was right for Ward to call her spouse “wife.”

She’d always referred to Mel as her “ sweetheart” and “partner,” but refused to call her “wife” as some of their same-sex friends did without being married. She has no problem with it now.

“She’s my wife and everything that that means,” Ward said.

Her marital status comes up in conversation, such as when she says it was her wife who took that photo on her desk, which may get an odd stare. Never does she get a cold shoulder though, Ward said. Which is not to say she hasn’t experienced discrimination before as a 51-year-old lesbian.

“I’ve been around long enough to be refused an apartment because it was obvious I was looking for an apartment with my partner at the time,” she said. And in retrospect, she knows she was once fired from a job because she was gay — but was told instead it was because she wasn’t the right fit for the position.

She remembers attending college in Ithaca, New York in the 1980s. And while that community often seemed tolerant, she had two male friends who at different times ended up in the hospital.

“ I worked with those guys and I remember thinking, ‘How does this happen that my friend got beat up by baseball bats?’” Ward said.

She also remembers watching two different bars she and friends used to frequent get burned down as people cheered on the sidewalk.

The struggle

Maine has wrestled with same- sex marriage for years, and Ward had volunteered for EqualityMaine. Every time their campaigns for same- sex marriage failed — whether at the polls or in the Legislature — it was a disappointment.

In 2009, then-Gov. John Baldacci signed a bill legalizing same-sex marriage, but that was overturned by voters in a people’s veto later that year.

It wasn’t until three years later that Maine voters legalized same-sex marriage.

Describing the struggle to achieve marriage equality in Maine, Ward said: “I knew we were going to win; I was so certain we were winning, and we didn’t win it and we didn’t win it. And when we finally did win it, it was almost like there was a moment of disbelief.”

However, Ward said there was concern that Maine’s current same-sex marriage law could, at some point, be struck.

“Again, it would be a huge disappointment,” Ward said.

Same-sex marriage has now been ruled legal in all 50 states by the highest court in the U.S., which is a comfort for those like Ward who advocated on the issue.

“ I can’t describe it,” Ward said, regarding the Supreme Court ruling.

Ward added: “Just like everything else, in a couple of years it will be a matter of course and right now it’s baby steps and learning curves.”

But there are new and bigger battles still to fight beyond gay marriage and still people who aren’t getting the rights they need. A friend involved in Equality- Maine is talking about transgender rights and health care for older people who are lesbian, bi-sexual, gay or transgender.

“ There’s always something more that’s important that needs to be fought for and we can’t take gay marriage for granted. … Someone can always try to take it away and I can guarantee there’s someone trying to take it away. And that’s why you’re never done,” Ward said.